Page 6 of Something to Believe In
Even when they were younger, they were just so fucking grateful to have a gig. And sure enough, the women came here and there. None of them had any problem finding girls. But Tony had married and divorced. Jami had married and divorced. None of them wanted that to be their focus.
They were in the music industry to make music, to make a living making music. To do what they'd all dreamed of doing. Make music and good money doing it, so life's other worries didn't burden them. And they were there. They were doing it now. They'd always made a decent living, but now things were really beginning to soar.
But the thing of it was, Mads. He enjoyed spending time with her. Talking to her gave him pleasure. He felt rage about what had happened yesterday to her. Hated it. And when they'd gone in and banged out that song, they'd made it perfect. He acted impulsively. He got up and ran to her and pulled her into his arms, and damn it, that felt amazing. She felt amazing.
And it was a mistake.
He'd made a mistake. They couldn't...they couldn't do that. Jami allowed Tony and Livia to be together because Tony offered to leave the band. He did sort of; he stopped playing and started managing them, and it was working. But they had all agreed upon starting with the band that they wouldn't get involved with each other because it could tear them apart. More than anything, he didn't want to tear them apart. How many times could it actually work with band members becoming couples?
Huffing out a breath and running his hands through his hair, he stumbled to the kitchen. After pouring a cup of coffee, he stared out the window. He'd bought this house a couple of years ago. After they were making enough money, he could pay cash for a house. That had always been his goal. He wanted a house only if he could pay cash for it. It was an amazing day when he could.
With a bank check in hand, he strutted into the closing. He didn't have a loan. To prevent it from being a big white box, he hired a decorator. So he had nice furniture, a decent house, and a place to call his own.
He'd never really felt at home here, though.
He sipped his coffee and watched the neighbor kids playing outside. Huffing out a deep breath, he shook his head. Now he couldn't sleep thinking about Maddyn. Thinking about how much he loved holding her in his arms. And she had hugged him so tightly. He'd never had a hug like that in his life. The hug contained more love and care than he'd ever felt.
Another breath escaped him as he finished his coffee. After rinsing his cup in the sink, he shuffled to the bathroom in his bedroom, jumped in the shower, and dressed for the day.
He wanted to be first at the Barn this morning. Hopefully, Maddyn would be there too. He needed to apologize to her. He didn't want to lead her on. That would be absolutely awful, especially after what she'd been through. However, they had to agree that was it.
As he pulled up to the Barn, his heart dropped. Sean's car and Tony's car were both in the parking area. Which meant Tony, Livia, and Sean were already there. Jami had probably already walked from the house, too. His house was just a couple hundred yards away. Jami had bought this old farm and converted the barn into a place to record their music and hang out. Jami enjoyed living in that old farmhouse. He had it remodeled by Quinn Kurtz and decorated. It was phenomenal inside.
Axel sauntered from his vehicle to the Barn and let out a breath. He entered and then moved to the door of the studio. As soon as he entered the studio, the barn door opened, and Mads entered right behind him. He smiled.
She smiled back at him. It was beautiful. "Morning, everyone," she said cheerily.
"Morning," was echoed back to her.
Tony clapped his hands to get their attention. "Okay, so I have a gig for us tonight."
Sean groaned.
Tony shook his head. "Look, I know we're supposed to be off right now, but we need to get ready for these new gigs, and you all have talked about changing the sets around. So tonight we'll play at the Sandbar."
Axel stood near his drums, but he watched Maddyn as she stared at Tony.
Tony shrugged. "So we're right here in town, and we're gonna play and try out our new sets. Let's work out the bugs here at home. How about that?"
Jami nodded. "That sounds good. Makes sense too. Thanks, Tony."
Axel nodded and sat behind the drums. He tried hard not to stare at Mads. She was beautiful today. She wore a pair of tight jeans and a lacy-looking tank top. He shook his head. He couldn't let himself have thoughts like he was having.
They spent the next two hours practicing. Jami held his hand up. "Let's call it a day. We don't need to be hoarse tonight. Rest up. I'll see you all tonight."
Tony added, "Be down at the Sandbar at five. We'll set up. We play at six."
Maddyn tucked her music into the little black case she carried and hustled out of the barn before he had the chance to say anything to her. Now he had a hot lump in his stomach. Hopefully, she wasn't mad at him.
Axel went home and ate some leftover lasagna that Sean's wife, Gloria, had made and shared with him. Then he took a nap. He felt tired. After tossing and turning, he finally fell asleep. At three o'clock, his alarm blared, and he awoke.
He arrived at the barn at four, after showering and dressing. His drums were packed, and he hauled them to the trailer by the barn. That was the trouble with not being super famous yet. They didn't have roadies. Not yet anyway, but they were getting close. So for the time being, they were their own roadies. Sean and Jami arrived and helped with guitars, speakers, and sound equipment. Tony arrived and pitched in. Mads and Livia brought music stands and microphones and carried whatever it was they could carry. His equipment was the worst. He had several drum boxes, and some of them were heavy. They arrived at the Sandbar and started the process in reverse.
His eyes ducked over to Mads often. Sometimes she was looking at him. Other times, she was just carrying or setting equipment up. She and Livia had a great relationship. They chuckled and laughed often. He enjoyed watching her.
At about ten minutes to six, Jami said, "Let's go backstage." They walked behind the stage. For a small town like Blossom Springs, Jace Marriott had built a phenomenal stage here. He built an adequate backstage where they could gather. There was always water, fruit, and snacks for them, too. Between sets, if they had to leave, they could stand backstage without having to worry about interacting with the fans. They could chill, get their heads on straight, and get ready for the next set. They gathered backstage. Their tradition was to stand in a circle and pray before every gig. They'd done this from the very start. He positioned himself next to Mads. They thanked God for what they had. Jami always praised all of them. "We have a phenomenal band here. Help us all get through. Good job. Outstanding performance. But most of all, let's have fun. Amen."
They all echoed, "Amen."
