Page 13 of Something to Believe In
She took a deep breath and allowed herself to glance at the clock above the stove. It was seven-thirty in the morning. What the hell? Most heating and cooling places didn't start until after eight.
She turned on the coffee pot and went back to the bedroom to pull out clothes for the day. Excitement ran through her at the thought of seeing Axel, but dread did as well. She wasn't a talented actress. How should she act? As if nothing had happened? Like her whole life didn't change last night? She wasn’t a liar, and secrets were not normal for her. How could she do this?
Taking a deep breath, she carried her clothes to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. She pulled her hair into a ponytail at the crown of her head, then applied her makeup. Moving out to get herself a cup of coffee, she heard people in the hallway outside her door again. Blowing out a breath, she vowed to get more serious about finding her own place. She had a realtor looking for condos for her, but there weren't many in the area. The condos Quinn Kurtz built were for veterans, and she wasn't a veteran. So, she waited for one to become available or to be built.
Pouring her cup of coffee, she neared her door and peeked out to see what the commotion was. A group of people stood talking in front of her door. Shaking her head, she sat on the sofa and sipped at her coffee.
The noise outside her door quieted, and she prepared to eat a light breakfast, then get to the Barn. Her stomach rolled slightly at the thought of being in the room with Axel and not letting her feelings show. She remembered the first time she had had sex. She was eighteen, and she thought she was madly in love with her boyfriend, Tommy. They had sex in the back of his car. The next morning, she was sure her mom would know. She must look different, right? Did it show? Was there something “different” about her now? Her mom came into the kitchen and said, "Good morning. Did you have a good time last night?"
Her face turned five shades of red. She knew. Everyone knew a “good time” meant you had sex, didn't they? She replied to her mom, "Yeah. It was nice."
"What did you do?"
She froze. What did she do? She had sex with Tommy! Couldn't she see that?
The answer was no. She couldn't see it. Nothing looked different about her. She hadn't sprouted a sign on her back that said, "I lost my virginity to Tommy last night." No one at school could tell, and she remembered thinking that they should be able to notice something. Right?
Then she went to her locker and saw Tommy. He was talking to Alison, the school slut, who was touching his arm and smiling so sweetly at him. Maddyn marched right over and said, "Hi. What's going on?"
Tommy shot her a dirty look, slammed his locker closed, and marched off. Alison right behind him. Later that day, after school, she waited for Tommy to come over like he had for the past couple of months, but he didn't show up.
Her mom asked, "Where's Tommy today?"
Maddyn sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. "I don't know."
"Did something happen between you?"
Oh, it sure did. But what Maddyn thought was love, Tommy took as conquest. Right now, he was likely conquering Alison. "No, I think we broke up."
"You think? What makes you think that?"
Maddyn shrugged. "I'm guessing the fact that he was flirting with Alison today at school means he's moved on.”
Her mom came and sat next to her on the sofa. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."
She shrugged, swallowed back the tears, and said, "It's okay."
"I have to pick up your dad's dry cleaning before he gets home. Do you want to come with me?"
"No, thank you."
"I'll be back soon. We can chat more then."
Her mom rushed out the door, and she went up to her room and cried. Then, she squared her shoulders and vowed not to be a sap ever again. Hopefully, last night she hadn't made herself a conquest, because Tommy was fairly easy to get over. Axel? He'd be hard. So very hard to get over. Plus, she'd still have to see him daily and with a new woman on his arm from time to time. That would suck.
She took a deep breath and left her apartment with butterflies in her tummy and hope in her heart.
Warming up her voice on the way to the Barn, she felt as ready as she could be by the time she arrived. Axel's car wasn't there yet, but Tony and Livia were there. She stepped through the door, remembering all too well leaving last night. Her face burned hot when she stepped in. Jami, Tony, and Livia sat on the sofas, chatting about the tour. "Morning, Mads."
Her voice was soft when she replied. "Morning."
Livia looked up at her, brows furrowed. "Are you alright, Mads?"
Oh my God, they could tell. "Yes. I'm fine." It came out fast, and Livia cocked her head to the right but said nothing more.
She sat down and chided herself for her lack of acting skills. Maybe she should take a class. For crying out loud, Livia was only asking out of concern. She patted her face with her hands, trying to calm the heat. She smiled and turned to Livia. "I had a stranger try to get into my apartment today, and it scared the hell out of me. It's all good now, though."
"He didn't get in?" Livia asked.
