Page 4 of Something to Believe In
They all sat quietly for a moment, then Tony cleared his throat. "How about some good news?"
Maddyn smiled and nodded.
"Okay, so two things. One, we finally hit the charts with “Born to Be My Baby”." He stared at Sean and grinned. "We're at number nineteen this week. But it's climbing."
Jami grinned and fist-bumped Sean. It was the song Sean wrote about his long-lost love, Gloria, who was now his fiancée. It came from deep within and resonated with women, especially.
"And two, we're playing six stadiums in three weeks' time, beginning in two weeks. Short notice, I know, but I've already hired a PR company to get the hype started. So, iron out your sets, and beginning tomorrow morning, practice in earnest; we're climbing the charts."
Axel looked into her eyes and smiled. Her heart raced as if she'd just run ten miles.
Chapter Three
Livia and Tony bid their farewell and left the Barn to go home. He envied them. He'd had girlfriends over the years, but nothing was ever super serious. All he'd ever cared about was the music. He'd seen all the press on terrible relationships and bands and tabloid bullshit here and there. Music and marriage didn't make it.
They'd be on the road, and right now, more than ever, they were trying to make it big. It's weird that over the years, that hadn't been their focus. Their focus had been on making a good living. They were all doing what they loved to do. Playing music in a band. They'd billed themselves as the best cover band around. They covered all the great rock bands and played music every night. Some weeks, they worked five days or more. So who could complain? And then last year, it came to light that Sean had been writing soulful songs. Deeply emotional songs. He'd never talked about his past relationship with Gloria. But it came out in his music. He wrote songs and tucked them away in a dresser drawer. Then one day he told Jami what he'd been writing. He brought the songs in and played them. He and Jami talked.
Jami shook his head. "Why the fuck have you been hiding this stuff from me? Us? These are phenomenal."
Jami immediately called the band into the studio. They looked at the words to the songs that Sean had written. Axel sat at his drums, and he could feel the beat. He could feel it in Sean's words. They were deeply emotional words of love, loss, and heartbreak, mistakes made, and hope for redemption, and all of it wrapped up into these words. As soon as Axel read them, he began pounding out a beat. Sean added the guitar. Jami, with his deep, gravelly voice, added the words, and that session, that one session, changed the band's focus forever.
When Mads and Livia started adding their vocals, they all felt it. Chills ran through all of them. It was fucking amazing. It was a moment he'd never forget, no matter how long he lived. That moment when everything changed for all of them. And their focus as a group changed from being a cover band to writing and recording their own songs.
Sean's life changed the most because he also found out soon after that he had a daughter from that deeply personal relationship. And in the year since that day, Jami and Sean started writing song after song. It was as if the floodgates opened, and they both let all of their feelings out through the music.
When they had words and some melody, they'd come into the studio and he'd give their song the heartbeat.
Jami would say, "Axel, you add the heartbeat, then let's get Mads and Livia in here to back me up. This is gonna be a hit.” They all felt it. And they were rising to the top. Since that time, they'd recorded two albums’ worth of songs. Now, finally, they were getting the recognition they sought. With Tony being able to get these big gigs, it showed how popular they were becoming. It was a dream come true.
So then why did he feel so empty inside? Some nights, he lay awake in bed and just wanted to cry. And then he'd think of Mads. Maddyn Nolan. The most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. With such a soulful, deep, raspy voice. Man, when she started singing backup, chills ran up his arms. She was perfect in so many ways. Her long dark hair and those green eyes. Like the color of spring grass. She'd turn sometimes and look at him while on stage, and he'd find it hard to look away. It's like she was looking into his soul. He could feel her. But he was so fucking afraid of screwing up. Of messing up this thing they had. They were just about to make it. How many times had he heard about bands beginning to implode just as they started hitting the big time? He just couldn't let that happen to any of them. They all wanted this so badly. He didn't want to be the one to screw it up. Definitely not him. No, not now. Not this band.
Chapter Four
Maddyn said goodnight as Tony and Livia left. She remained in her spot on the sofa. She felt safe and comfortable, and frankly, she didn't want to go home. Not only did she worry Doug would stop by, but she also didn't want to leave Axel.
Her mind floated to the day she told her parents she'd gotten a job in a band. Her mom had been so angry with her. Oh, the fight they had. Mads still remembered it to this day. It made her heart squeeze. Her mom was not happy. She never wanted to disappoint her mom or her dad, but her mom said, “You can do so much more with your life, Maddyn. We didn't raise you to be gallivanting around the United States with a band. A rock band. My god. You, you could do anything. You've always been so good with animals. I thought you wanted to be a veterinarian.”
She swallowed the dry lump in her throat. She would always remember her mom's expression.
"Mom, I can still love animals and sing. I love music."
"But music will not give you a life, Maddyn. Packing up a suitcase, living in a car, going from gig to gig, hoping to make enough money to pay your rent. Why do you want to put yourself through that? Maddyn, please listen to me."
Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her mom didn't see it. She didn't see that Mads had talent. She was a talented singer. Her mom also didn't see that she had to pursue this career and see if it would go somewhere. If she hadn't, she'd never have forgiven herself. Her memory was of leaving the house that day, angrily swiping at the tears, promising herself she'd show her mom. And she did sort of. Tony had gotten them a pretty big gig. Not as big as the ones coming up, but a pretty big gig, nonetheless. And she sent her mom and dad tickets and paid for their plane tickets to come and see her. Her mom saw the people cheering and singing along with them, and she remembered how hard her mom had hugged her afterwards.
She'd whispered in her ear, "Oh, you were good, Mads. You were so good. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."
She'd never forget that day. Never. But now here she was. Her heart was reaching for something it wasn't supposed to reach for. And she didn't know what to do.
"Mads?"
She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Jami, who was looking at her. So were Sean and Axel.
"I'm sorry." Her cheeks burned. "I was kind of off and lost in thought. I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Jami cleared his throat. "You, okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking about my mom. Remember when she came to see us last year? It was just before she died."
