Page 17 of Falling Hard
To my surprise, Luke was planning to follow his lead. He stormed away from me, taking his tense and broad shoulders out of the kitchen. I planned to stand there composed and unbothered, but my pride lost to something deeper, the urge to learn what the hell just happened. I hurried after him.
"What was that?" I said, loud enough that I knew he heard me. So when Luke kept going toward the door, I moved faster. Reached out to grab his arm and pulled. Luke stopped and turned slowly, his entire body tense. The anger in his eyes seemed to falter when we made eye contact. Maybe he expected me to curse him out or slap the shitout of him, but I didn't. For a moment, it seemed neither of us could think of what to say. I felt his warm and solid arm still under my hand.
"We aren't little kids anymore. Our relationship hasn't grown, but I have. No, we both have. There are certain things I shouldn't know about you. These things I’d never subject you to. I have too much respect for you to do that."
He spoke like I’d been torturing him.
"Luke, I don’t get why you’re so upset. I'm dressing your bride, being your best man, we do lots of things for each other. They aren't always things we love to do, but for you, there's nothing I wouldn't do. But you don’t feel that way anymore."
He sighed. "You aren’t listening. I admit I lost my temper, and maybe I'm not explaining it well because I just never know how to speak to you."
We just stood there, staring, like people who used to know each other.
When your best friend says he doesn't know how to speak to you, you start to understand certain things. Like why he would marry Silliene. Maybe she was somebody Luke could easily speak to.
"I don’t know what to say." I was ashamed by how brittle my voice was.
"And I don't know if I'm explaining it correctly. All I know is things must change," Luke said in a tone that scared me.
My eyes watered without my permission. Tears fell down my cheeks. "Why does this feel like some sort of goodbye?" The words slipped out before I could stop myself.
“Never!" he said quickly, wrapping an arm around me. "I'm just asking for boundaries in our relationship and some respect."
I wiped my eyes and nodded.
The edge in Luke’s voice was all gone. He whispered something I didn't know just how much I needed to hear. "I love you. There is never an end to us, just change."
"Change can be good," I said, trying to convince myself as I spoke.
"That's the spirit," he said, kissing my forehead before walking out the front door. This time, when it shut, the noise pained me. I was confused and unsure about many things, but one thing was for certain: I wouldn't let him go. I was ready, and now all I needed to do was convince him.
6
INSIDE I'M CRYING
The followingday was the start of New York Fashion Week. From where I stood beside the hot dog cart, I could see the large white tents, so tall they looked like temples. Crowds surrounded them, many desperate for access or to be seen by paparazzi. Flashbulbs popped like fireworks, and I rolled my eyes. I was over pretending that sitting in the front row, or knowing most of the attendees on a first-name basis, was any sort of prize. I stood next to Freddy, who, if you asked me, sold the best hot dog in New York City. The secret, according to Freddy, was fresh water.
"The others recycle, but not me. They're too lazy. How can they cook quality dogs in water that is three days old?" Freddy said as he topped my food with ketchup, mustard, and a bit of relish.
"Thanks, Freddy."
"You have a good day, Ms. Olivia."
"That isn’t possible. My life is crazy these days."
"Really? How?"
Whether Freddy really wanted to know or not, I didn’t care. Six minutes later, I had a second hot dog in hand and was pouring my troubles onto the cart vendor. New low.
"If you asked me, I'd swear I knew everything about Luke. How can he really love a woman like Sullen?"
"Maybe he needed a bit of excitement."
I looked at him like he'd gone crazy. "Freddy, no one can possibly be more exciting than me. I can turn Luke's world upside down or inside out. He might pull his hair out afterward, but it would be exciting."
Freddy looked stumped, and I waited for a better explanation. He inhaled sharply, gave a shrug, and said nothing. His gaze locked on mine.
"Well?" I asked eventually.
