Page 30 of Falling Hard
"Want me to make you a smoothie or drive you back to campus?"
I blinked. I'd confessed love, and Luke acted like it never happened.
"No. I'll take a taxi," I said as I got out of his bed and searched for my stuff. "Where's my phone and purse?"
"Liv, about last night …"
I froze and met his eyes. "Yes?"
"Friends don't hold mistakes against each other."
Mistakes. The word hollowed me out. Last night hadn't been a mistake; it was the truest thing I'd ever done.
"Our friendship is the most important thing to me. I won’t let one mistake ruin everything. You mean the world to me." He didn’t look away from me. Not once. His eyes were pleading. "We all do stupid things when we’ve had too much to drink."
I blinked against his words. He didn’t feel the same way about me. I hadn’t ever seriously considered that he might not. I’d put our friendship in jeopardy. Me. Stupid, stupid me.
"I'm sorry about last night," I blurted out.
Luke ran a hand through his hair and looked away, turning his attention back to the drawers. "You were drunk, right? Never would have happened otherwise?"
Silence. I knew what I was supposed to say, but it made my heart ache to say it. "Obviously," I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. Each syllable scraped my throat raw.
I could see his body relax, and I forced myself to reassure him further.
"Do you know how many men I’ve slept with and regretted it the next morning?"
Truth was, there had been none. I’d never been drunk enough to make a stupid decision like that, just like last night hadn’t been a drunken mistake either.
"That's not a club I want to join," Luke said, then patted me on the head like I'd seen him do to Ella. To him, I was no different than his sister, and I should have known that.
"Let me wash up, and then I’ll take you home."
Feeling my brave face could falter at any moment, I jumped into action.
As I pulled on my pants and searched for my shoes, I explained, "Luke, relax. I'm totally fine now. The last thing I need is to be chaperoned back to my dorm. Sorry about bothering you last night."
His eyes widened. "What bother? Didn't I tell you when I was four years old and running around in a Superman costume, cape included, that I'd always save you?"
"My hero," I whispered, fighting back tears, though the crack in my voice might have betrayed me.
What had once been my comfort now felt like a curse. Saving me was easy. Loving me was another matter.
10
HOW DO I BREATHE WITHOUT YOU?
The metal foldingchair felt cold underneath my workout pants. It was a nice fall day, and the air felt good on my skin. I wanted to savor the weather before the dreaded arrival of winter. I inhaled the smell of wet leaves and warm coffee. Wrapping both hands around the paper cup, I let the steam tickle my face while I watched the football game being played on the grass. The men moved fast across the lawn, taunting each other, laughter tossed in between the sounds of whistles and the thud of running feet. Many things were different these days, but this wasn't one of them. I always watched Luke from the sidelines. While he was never good enough to join a professional team, I couldn't have been any prouder of him.
"Go, Luke," I yelled, ignoring the large gap in numbers on the scoreboard.
Mei, who tagged along after our early morning spin class, looked at me in a questionable manner. "You do know his team is losing, right?"
"They can turn things around."
Mei burst into laughter beside me, her head tipping backward. Screw her, I would never count Luke out. At least,that was what I thought until I glanced over at the time. There wasn’t much of the game left.
Never one to be defeated, I jumped to my feet.
