Page 118 of Keep Me Never
But he doesn’t stop there. He yanks me into a hug, arms tight around my shoulders.
My eyes burn, but I blink away the sting. “I just left her out there,” I whisper, the words thick with shame. “I couldn’t face her after I…”
Ruined the future I want to be able to give her. That she deserves.
Why am I this way? Why can’t I just be better? More?
“Come on, Son.” My dad’s voice is soft and he steps back. “Let’s get you cleaned up and out of those pads. I’ve got something you can put on.”
We walk into the room, his hand still on my shoulder.
A couple hours later I’m standing outside a familiar dorm. A minute passes, and then the lock clicks, and Cam appears, giving me a tired, small smile as she tugs the door open for me to slip in, gently closing and locking it behind me.
My eyes find her instantly, curled up on the couch with a blanket pulled up to her chin.
Guilt and self-loathing pour into my veins so heavily that I have to reach out and grip the wall.
Cam’s arms come around me from behind, and I place my palm over hers to help steady myself. “We love you, Chaser,” she says softly, before sliding away.
A moment later, I hear the door down the hall click shut,Brady’s muffled voice floating from the other side. He’s likely trying to get out here to check on me, but Cam is giving him every reason she can come up with not to let him.
I’ll owe her for that later.
I don’t want to talk to anyone, not until I talk to Paige—but right now I just want her in my arms, hoping her phone wasn’t dead, as it so often is, and she got my text letting her know I was okay.
As I approach her, though, taking in the way she’s clutching the blanket between her pretty fingers and the small frown that shouldn’t be there when she’s asleep, I can’t even bring myself to touch her.
I wish she knew she’s the only thing keeping me tethered right now, that every breath I took after that final whistle was for her.
I didn’t want a way to escape her; I walked away so I didn’t fall apart in front of her. So I didn’t put this…crushing weight of what might be ruined on her shoulders. She would have taken one look at me and tried to take it because she’s justgoodlike that. Kind and loving and so much better than I could ever be—selfless and honest.
And I’m selfish and a liar. A mess destined to dirty up her life.
I knew my friends would do this, that they would take care of one of their own, and not just for me but for her because she is a part of this little family we’ve formed—her as a person all on her own.
Dropping onto my ass on the edge of the couch, I run my knuckles along her cheek, and slowly, that little frown between her brows smooths out.
She takes a deep breath and snuggles into her pillow, and my eyes burn when she lets go of her blanket.
I sit there for I don’t know how long, memorizing the lines of her face and clearing it of the little scowl that comes back every so often.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been here or what time it is, but I figure it must be morning when I hear footsteps padding down the hall. They stop, and I know it’s at the sight of me, so I force myself to look over.
My muscles lock the moment our eyes connect, and the heat of disgrace burns up my neck. Of course, it’s the very last person I want to see, and it has nothing to do with him.
“Hey,” Noah whispers, taking in my position and eyes roaming over me, looking for proof of injury. He finds it on my left hand, still wrapped with the temporary stuff.
My stomach turns in on itself, and I drop my gaze to the carpet.
His sigh is low, and he continues into the room, moving into the kitchen, and a couple minutes later, the smell of coffee fills the space.
I hear a cup settle on the kitchen counter, and then a second one.
My eyes pop up and I see he was waiting for that. He nods, and my ribs constrict at the offer. With one last look at my sleeping angel, I push to my feet, moving to join him.
“I’m not usually one for coffee, but I think we could both use one this morning,” he says, pouring some creamer into both cups and pushing one my way. “Figured you might feel the same today.”
I nod, accepting the warm drink, and when I take a small sip, the heat is surprisingly soothing. I didn’t realize how raw my throat felt. After a moment, my eyes go right back to the couch, my gut twisting.
