Page 120 of Keep Me Never
I don’t care what I lose, Angel, so long as I don’t lose you.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Paige
The smell of charcoal fills the air and something about it feels nostalgic.
It reminds me of my childhood when Dad would pick me up after elementary school and instead of heading home, we’d go to parks just like this one. We’d make hot dogs on the same type of built-in barbecue Mason is grilling on right now, and I’d play with whoever else got to go to the park after school that day.
I miss him.
I’ve missed this.
My eyes slide toward Chase, sitting in a folding chair beside Ari and Brady. They’re laughing and chatting, but he’s picking at the label on the water bottle he’s holding, his shoulders slumped.
The sight breaks my heart, and I pull in a lungful of air to work past the ache threatening to take over there.
“Do you think he’s okay?” I ask quietly.
Payton follows my gaze, her smile fading. “I don’t know. What’s he said?”
“He apologized, right after the game when he came to Ari’s. I told him I didn’t even need an apology, that I was just worried but he didn’t do anything wrong.” I sigh, my own shoulders sagging. “Then he just apologized again.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Yeah, but since then, it’s like he’s…” I can’t quite say it out loud and maybe that’s because I don’t really have words for it at all.
It’s almost like he’s always present but never really here.
Payton reaches out, squeezing my hand gently, then picks Deaton up off the table, kissing his cheek as she snags the bag of chips he tries to take with him.
“Hey, buddy, I think Uncle Chase wants to go play,” she whispers to her son, meeting Mason’s eyes when he looks over with the most grateful of smiles, his own worried expression moving to his best friend.
“Just don’t tell him Mama told you so, ’kay, D? I think he’ll like that.”
Deaton nods excitedly, then runs full speed until he’s throwing himself in an unsuspecting Chase’s arms with a bigoomph.
“Uncle Chaser, let’s go play!” Deaton grins up at him.
Chase’s smile is instant and he’s on his feet in the next moment, turning for the playground without a thought.
Mase leans over, kissing Payton’s cheek. “Good job, Mama.”
I nod absentmindedly, watching the two boys as they race for the slide.
Deaton gets ahead of him, but then he trips climbing up the last step and falls forward.
But Chase is already there, picking him up and saying something none of us can hear as he dusts off his little hands and reties his shoe. Deaton starts waving his hand all around, talking as animatedly as ever, and Chase is completely enamored, smiling down at the little boy.
He’s trying so hard to be okay. God, it only makes me love him more.
Because I do.
I love him.
I watch the duo for ten minutes or so, and when Mason announces it’s time to eat, I’m the first to volunteer to get the boys from the playground. I push away from the table, grabbing a juice box for Deaton and a bottle of water for Chase.
I just need to be close.
