Page 156 of Keep Me Never
And in the silence that stretches, his eyes locked on mine, suddenly I do know what I want to say, what I’ve been trying to say for months, but this man, this stubborn, hardheaded, selfless man wouldn’t allow it.
I place myself directly in front of him, and for once, he has to look up at me.
My hands tremble, but I force them to lift, cupping his face, feeling the stubble there. His eyes slam closed.
“No, open your eyes. You’re going to look at me.” I tighten my grip. “Chase, look at me.”
He swallows, and finally those eyes of his meet mine.
“What you did,” I whisper, my voice barely a breath. “It wasn’t fair.” I gulp hard, shaking my head. “You hid things from me, big things that affect you, things that affectmeand my life.Myfuture. You lied. You let me walk around in the dark, left me out, and you had no right. You did all those things and more and I want to beso mad at youright now because you didn’t even give me a chance.” His brows crash, eyes moving between mine. “I want to be so mad but how the hell am I supposed to be?”
One of his hands shoots up, fingers latching around my wrist.
“I’m supposed to be, right?” I whisper, my head shaking. “I think I’m supposed to be but I just… I’m not, Chase. How can I be? Look what you did for me. What you sacrifice. You say you were never going to leave me, and I believe you. So while I want to be mad at you, I’m not. I’m mad at myself because it took me so long to come, to tell you that I’m sorry for ever doubting your love for me. You love me.”
His lips tremble, his grip tightening.
My hands shake, my eyes never leaving his as the words fall out of me, raw and real. “I didn’t understand before why you would never let me speak the words out loud, but I get it now. You don’t think you deserve it. Well, I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. You areso muchmore than you think you are, and I’m so in love with you that I kind of want to smack you right now because how could you ever even think you were unworthy of this feeling?” My voice cracks, and that does it. “You…are everything I never knew existed and so much more than I thought I would ever have, and I don’t see how anyone could ever love someone more than I love you.”
He loses his control, his arms coming up around me as he tugs me close, pulling me down and cradling me in to his chest.
I go willingly, needing this. Needing him.
His heart pounds against mine, and I know he’s fighting with his emotions, just as I’m fighting mine.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs into my hair, his voice thick. “I never wanted you to worry. I wanted to handle everything before you got home and then you came early and everything got out of control before I could fix it.”
I lift my head from his chest, my fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt. His hands find my face gently, shaking as the warmth of him presses into my skin, like he expects I’ll pull away, like he thinks I should. I don’t. I won’t. I’ll never have even a moment of doubt again and I hate that I ever did when I knew better.
“I love you,” I whisper without hesitation. “I love you, Chase. Truly. Deeply.”
His limbs are trembling, and his forehead meets mine. “I do not deserve you.”
“Yeah, you do, but we’ll work on that,” I rasp. “Because we have now, and five, and twenty-five years to look back at this and I will keep reminding you of all the reasons why you do deserve me, this place being one of them.”
A shuddered breath leaves him, and he grips my face tighter, a devastating hope shadowed by heartbreaking despair staring back at me, like he just can’t bring himself to believe but physically can’t fathom the thought ofnot. “Baby.”
“I’m keeping you, Chase Harper. Now. Always. So if you could please kiss me now, because I’ve missed?—”
He cuts me off with a swift press of his lips. One of his hands sinks into my hair, his other tugging me impossibly closer, his fingertips trembling as his body sags in relief. I’m where he needs me most—in his arms, close to his heart.
This kiss is different. It’s old and new andus.
It’s hard. Deep.
It’s final.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Chase
It turned out I was right.
Prescott was an innocent party when it came to the mess Grant was making by inserting himself in his granddaughter’s relationship. Guess Grant came clean all around because not a month later, the dude drove out to Oceanside and waited in my driveway for me to get off work just so he could apologize. He offered to take me out to lunch, and even claimed he’d let me pickandpay. We had a good laugh over that.
In the end there were no hard feelings and I was surprised at how nice it felt to clear the air. I didn’t think I gave a damn, but it was good to be acknowledged and treated with respect for my place in her life. I even agreed to let him attempt to convince me golf isn’t the most boring sport out there.
Grant, though, is a different story, but I’m trying. I’ll keep trying and I will continue to be polite for Paige’s sake, and maybe one day I will be able to forgive and forget. Today isn’t that day but it’s not worth being angry over.
