Page 23 of Keep Me Never
“Okay, now stretch your spine so you’re standing tall, and close your eyes as you take a deep breath.” His back inflates against mine and I smile to myself. “Good. Now just breathe and focus on right now.”
I let his arms go, glancing down to make sure they’re still hanging there. We stand in silence a few seconds, just taking even, deep breaths in unison.
The first thing I note is his back is solid against mine, broad enough that I feel even smaller, almost swallowed up by the space he takes up. I shift slightly, trying to balance, but he doesn’t budge. Like a wall, he’s unshakable, steady, completely unaffected.
“What do you notice?” I ask.
“Notice?”
“Yeah. What comes to mind or what do you feel? What are you paying attention to?”
There’s a beat of silence before his voice rumbles behind me, low and thoughtful. “You’re warm.” He pauses. “Small.”
“Now that’s a revelation,” I tease.
He exhales a short laugh, the movement pressing his back a little more firmly into mine. “I mean, trust me, I’ve noticed, but now you’re right here and I…can’t help but focus on how small you are compared to me.” The way he says it, I get the feeling he likes the thought of being bigger than me, stronger, but not in a cocky way. More protective or maybe satisfied. “I have to drop my shoulders lower just to try and match you. Feels weird.”
A small frown begins to form between my brows, overshadowing the warmth that settled in my stomach. “Weird how?”
“I don’t know just…I’m more aware of it, I guess. Almost like, like…”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re fragile. It makes me feel like I should…” He hesitates a moment before continuing. “Like I should turn around and put my arms around you instead of—” He cuts himself off. “I don’t know, am I doing this right?”
I chew on the corner of my lip, fighting back a smile. “Yeah, you’re doing this right.”
I shift, more from nerves than anything, but this time he shifts too, and our skin brushes against each other. The contact is barely there, just the edge of his knuckle grazing my arm, but it lingers. The kind of touch that shouldn’t mean anything.
So why does it feel like it does?
I don’t realize I’ve moved my head until it’s already pointed over my shoulder, my blue eyes locking with his green ones. It seems we both glanced back at the same exact time.
We’re close, so close I catch the flicker of something unreadable in his expression, close enough that, for a second, I wonder if he feels this too.
I don’t dare ask the specific question in my mind but give him the option to answer however he feels driven to.
“How do you feel?” The words come out lower than intended.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, the tiniest hint of a frown appearing between his brows. “Focused. Focused on right now.”
“Good.” I chew on the inside of my lip, fighting the flush that is spreading up my chest. “Try and hold on to that later. I mean, not this moment, but whatever one you’re in. If you’re in class, see the scene play out in your mind instead of reading it. Walking to your dorm, smell the grass as you count your steps. Things like that if you need to pull your head out of the mud.”
“Is that what you do?”
“I try.”
Chase nods, his eyes moving between mine.
Clearing my throat, I step away, snag my bag off the ground, and spin around, heading for the exit.
“Hey, what… Wait.” Chase takes a few long strides, catching up with me, and when I look his way, he has a small frown on his face. “That’s it?”
“Until next time.”
He stops walking, calling out after a moment. “And when is next time?”
“Guess we’ll see!” I keep walking, grinning to myself as I make my way to my dorm, thoughts of a certain football player filling my mind the entire way.
