Page 41 of Keep Me Never
After a moment, she sits beside me, both our legs now hanging over the edge. Her eyes drop to her lap, and she runs the pad of her thumb over the little ring on her right hand.
“What’s wrong?”
Her chin is touching her chest, and she lets out a small, airy laugh, peeking over at me without actually turning her head. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
I don’t know how. I just do and I don’t know what to do with that.
When I don’t answer, she looks over at me, moisture building in her eyes. “I just can’t believe I got to see that live.” She shakes her head. “I know it might seem little. I mean I’m sure I could have gotten myself a ticket down the line and for a lot less than my grandfather paid for all this.”
“It’s not little. It’s obvious this is special to you.”
She laughs again, this time a little more lively, and I ignore the way the sound eases the tension I didn’t know I was feeling.
“It’s not even necessarily this place. Just the show. A show in general,” she corrects herself, meeting my eyes. “My dad and I had all these plans for after I graduated college. We talked about how we’d visit all these different venues, catching a different show at each one. One a year was what we agreed on.” Her lips pull in, telling me the moisture that was building in her eyes a few moments ago might just fall, and I have the urge to reach for her. “But it was one of those lies we told each other to make things easier, you know? Even though we both knew the truth.”
Her words hit home because I understand all too well what it feels like to lie to yourself for the sake of trying to feel better—to trick your brain into believing everything is fine when that is so fucking far from the truth. So I nod.
“I think you’re right,” I say softly. “Your dad would be really happy you still came, even though he couldn’t come with you.”
She smiles my way, nodding. “You know, if he were here, he’d be talking your ear off and completely ignoring me.”
My brows jump, a little surprised by her statement. “Oh yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.” She nods, leaning back so she’s resting on her palms.
“Oh, you’re going to make me ask?” I tease, scooting a little closer.
Paige nods, chewing at her lip.
“I’ll bite. Why would he be talking my ear off?”
“Because he was a big, bad college football star once upon a time, too.”
“No shit?” I smile.
“Yep.”
“I bet he’d rather talk to Noah than me, him being a pro and all.” The moment the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back. I don’t even know why I said that. My skin heats, and I pray the heat doesn’t slip past the collar of my dress shirt.
Paige tips her head, eyeing me. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” I play dumb.
“Pretend you don’t like and respect him when you do? Downplay your worth and try and move the conversation so it’s about someone else? Push down your own excitement like you’re trying to make sure you feel none?”
“Jesus.” I huff a laugh, but it’s strangled and I glance away, rubbing at the back of my neck.
Looks like I’m not the only one who can read the other…
I’m not really sure what to say, so I just look back and let my shoulders fall and my mouth run. “I’m sorry. You’re sharing things…pieces of your life and personal things that I didn’t even know I was desperate to learn, and I’m fucking that up, bringing in my negative shit and ruining things like I always do and?—”
Her soft fingers graze my cheek, and the words die in my throat, my eyes slicing to hers.
Her smile is soft—so fucking soft and, man.
I wasn’t prepared.
These things I’m feeling, thislonging, if that’s what it is, suddenly feels too big to ignore yet too impossible to reach for.
