Page 59 of Keep Me Never
She points at him and cocks her head at me, all bratty. They really are perfect for each other. I don’t know how we didn’t see it before.
“You’re the one getting her all ready and excited and shit.” It’s a weak argument, but it’s all I’ve got.
“Hello!” Her eyes bug. “Do you really think I don’t have a backup curling iron for my backup curling iron?! Pah-lease. That was all a part of the plan.”
“Cameron!” Ari playfully admonishes her, but her laughter tells me she’s on Cameron’s side.
“Bitch, you knew this. Don’t play.”
I can feel my cheeks heat, but I just shrug. “Who says I care?”
The entire room laughs this time. All of them.
My mouth clamps shut, and I shake my head, trying to come up with something to say, but I’m saved by the baby.
Deaton sits up, wiping his little eyes as he smiles around theroom, most of his favorite people in one place, just the way he likes it.
Naturally, his eyes fall to the dessert on the table and he smiles.
Happy for the out and for the uncle points that being the one to serve him is about to give me, I scoop him up. “Come on, D. Let’s taste test Paige’s baked goods.”
“You’re silly. It’s not Paige’s.” He pats my shoulder, reaching into the open container sitting on the counter the second I place him on it.
“No?” I ask, opening my mouth so he can feed me a small piece of strawberry, then he feeds himself one, the sugar-soaked fruit making my mouth water.
“Nope.” He smiles, reaching for the bowl of homemade whipped cream. “It’s for you. She telled me she was making you something special and she couldn’t wait for me to try some.”
I look his way, and he just keeps kicking his legs, watching as I pile his berries on the angel food cake, then hands me a spoon when I don’t move to scoop some of the cream.
I clear my throat, taking the spoon. “Thanks, little man.”
“Thanks for letting me try some.” He smiles, digging in the second I’ve added his topping.
I smile at the little boy, my eyes falling to my own plate.
She was thinking of me.
All day, they ran around getting her ready for this outing. This date with another man.
With a real man. A safe man.
But somewhere, at some point, it was me who crossed her mind.
I close my eyes, searching for a way out of the life that’s become mine and into one that would make me the guy worthy of the girl. And then it hits me.
I don’t want a way out.
I don’t want distance.
I don’t want to be the guy who lets her go.
I want to be the guy shechooses. The one she looks at and never looks away from.
I open my eyes, pulse hammering. For the first time, I stop thinking about what I don’t have, what I can’t give her.
And I think abouther.
What she wants. What makes her laugh.
