Page 152 of Keep Me Never
Chase goes stiff and I look between Chase and him, trying to make sense of the mess of emotions.
Chase is standing here, arms at his sides, looking almost…defeated. His eyes are full of guilt and something else, something I can’t quite place. And my grandfather is rigid in the doorway, looking like he’s carrying a weight far heavier than I realize.
The silence stretches between us and I take a shaky breath, feeling a cold tremor run through me.
“Paige,” my grandfather finally continues, his voice steady, and neither of us miss the way Chase shuffles closer to me, almost as if to shield me.
My pulse skips, and I find myself desperate for air, waiting for my grandpa to say more and having no idea how there could be more when there is so much already. He looks at me, and for the first time, I see a flicker of regret in his eyes.
“I told you about the offer and I told you what it meant if the check was cashed,” he begins, and in my peripheral, I catch Chase’s jaw clenching tight. “But what I didn’t tell you, what he himself does not yet know, is that all of this—the money and the reason behind it—was a test. I was testing him.” His words hit me like a slap.
I blink, trying to process what he said, but it doesn’t make sense.
“Testing him?” I whisper, meeting Chase’s frown briefly before looking back to my grandpa. My throat is dry, and I’m starting to feel the burden of something heavy settling in my chest.
“I never thought for a second he would take the money, Paige,” my grandfather continues. “It was why I made him the offer when I did, because I was certain you would be his choice, just as I was certain he was who you were choosing. I needed to know he was worthy of you.”
“But I knew.” My head spins, his words washing over me like cold water. “I knew. I’veknown. You had no right, putting him in that position. It was cruel.”
His football career had just come to a sudden, devastating end. He was losing at the one thing he poured his heart into, being forced to drop out after years of dedication. And though I didn’t know it, he was being forced to leave school without the chance to graduate.
He was at rock bottom, I was his only life vest, and my grandpa cut it from his shoulders.
“It was,” he agrees with a sad smile, but he doesn’t apologize. “I was so certain I was right, that he would tear that check up and throw it away, that I had bought him a ticket to come along with us on our trip. I was going to ask him to come after he spent Christmas with his dad and we would surprise you.” He pauses, shaking his head. “And then I got the email that the check had cleared, and quite frankly, it about broke me down. I was devastated for you. Sad and shocked I got it wrong. I thought he chose to let you go.”
He holds his hands out, looking around the studio in awe. “But, sweetheart, even in the face of an impossible decision, hestillchose you. He chose you in a way I never saw coming. I underestimated him.”
“I don’t want nor do I need you to speak for me.” Chasefrowns, but his voice is low, beaten. “Especially when you try and make what I did sound noble. It isn’t. I’m no better than you here. I lied to her. I kept things from her. I made her question my love for her, and I will forever hate myself for that.”
His words hit me, and there are so many emotions that I can’t possibly focus on one.
My grandpa steps forward, his shoulders falling. “That’s just more proof that you are the man I thought you were. Loyal to a fault. You did those thingsfor her. You gave her achoice. I told you, son, she needed a man who would offer her the only thing she would ever need, but I didn’t tell you what thatone thingis. It’s loyalty. And I couldn’t find a better example for the trait than what you’ve done. Sweetheart.” He turns to me. “He deposited that check and requested a refund from the school the moment it processed—something he knew I would be none the wiser to. The money was cleared from my account, that was all I knew, and then he came here and he did this.” He holds his hands out, motioning to the space.
“That doesn’t make it better,” Chase snaps.
“No, but it means you are exactly what I thought you were, Chase Harper. Loyal, to your damn core.”
This is…all too much. It’s so much.
Groundbreaking yet heartbreaking at the same time.
I stand there, staring at the floor, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. I can barely breathe. My chest is tight, my head spinning, and I feel like I’m about to crash under the knowledge of it all. The weight pressing down on me.
I wish my dad were here. He’d know what to say. He always did.
“Paige.” Chase’s voice breaks through the fog in my head, soft and full of regret. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I know you are.”
The air between us is thick, filled with everything we’re bothcarrying. He did this for me, sacrificed for me. I know that. I see that.
So am I still even allowed to feel hurt? Is that even fair and to whom?
It’s too much all at once.
“What you did…all of this…” I pause, trying to steady my breathing. I shake my head, unsure of what to say next. “It’s just…a lot. This place. All of it.” My eyes move over the studio, and I’m still in wonder at the transformation but also filled with confusion.
He watches me, his eyes full of pain, like he’s waiting for me to break the last little bit of him that’s still holding on.
