Page 118 of My Merry Mistake
It’s late morning, after the breakfast rush at Poppy’s restaurant, after the Comets’ morning practice, after my exciting few hours of trying not to dwell on all the annoying thoughts piercing my mind.
“‘Go with the flow’ is my new motto,” I say, signing with expression to convey my sarcasm. I sit down on the porch swing next to Poppy.
“I, for one, am glad you’re here,” Poppy says. “Last year you didn’t get to do this with us.” She’s wearing black leggings, an oversized, cozy sweater, a puffer vest, and a stocking cap with a ball on top. She looks adorable.
By contrast, I’m in jeans, a not-cozy green sweater, my boring winter coat, and boots. My outfit screams urban, while hers whispers rural. I don’t even think I remembered to bring gloves.
I think back to last Christmas and realize she’s right. Our own Hart Family Christmas kickoff is a holiday tradition, and I didn’t go. I can’t remember why.
“You were working,” Eloise says.
“But at least I wasn’t a seventh wheel like I’m going to be today,” I groan, then take a drink of the cider. I look up and find them all watching me.
My eyes jump from Poppy to Eloise to my mom, then my dad. “What?” I say, signing.
“It’s not a setup,” Mom says, in a tone meant to calm small children.
Dad smacks a hand on his knee and hoots. “Sure, Tam,” he signs.
Neither of my sisters is looking at me, but they don’t need to for me to know that whatever they’ve done, I’m not going to like it.
Just then, Finn’s Jeep ambles up the driveway, followed by Dallas’s shiny new SUV.
I toss my mom a look. “Not a setup?” I sign this, then look at my dad. “You let her do this?”
He holds up his hands in surrender, as if that absolves him from blame.
“You guys, I just ended things with someone?—”
“Nope!” Eloise cuts me off with an upheld hand. “To end something, you have to have started something. None of us is buying that you ever had feelings for that guy.”
She’s right, of course, but I don’t say so. Maybe one day I’ll tell my sisters the truth about Justin, but for now, I’m keeping it to myself.
Finn and Dallas pull off to the side, parking in the yard where people always park when we have company.
“Regardless of how I feel—or felt—about Justin,” I say, voice firm, “I cannot stress enough how this is just not going to work with Finn.”
“Is this one of those times when you think if you say something often enough you’ll actually start to believe it?” Eloise grins at me.
“I’m not making this up,” I argue. “You have to stop pushing this. I think he’s starting to—” I look at Mom, her words ringing through my mind.
“Because he’s in love with you.”
I thought about those words all day yesterday, turning them over and over in my mind, trying to make them make sense. I can brush off the almost-kiss as a heated, confused moment of attraction. But if those words are true, it’s going to come up at some point. I’m going to have to deal with it. And when I do, he’s not going to come around anymore.
Isn’t that what I’ve been saying I want?
When did everything change?
“Starting to what, Ray?” Eloise says. “Starting to be an incredibly excellent guy with a whole lot to offer someone who’s uptight and in desperate need of a good time?”
I frown and look over at Dad just in time to see him secretly sign something to Mom. I catch the last of it—something like, “I’ll show you a good time.”
“Dad!” I shout at him, “I saw that!”
He fakes innocence, shaking his hands in front of him as my mom swats him on the arm.
They did this stuff constantly when we still lived here, thinking we couldn’t see them silently flirting in ASL.
