Page 115 of My Merry Mistake
I force myself not to dwell there, in the muck of old memories. This is not that. I made sure of it. Thankfully, I never gave Justin the power to hurt me in that way.
I push the door open and meet his eyes.
“I’m going to call you back.” He hangs up, and I give him a sad smile.
I’m not emotionally wounded, though my pride might’ve taken a hit. I went to such great lengths to protect myself,and here I am again. Abandoned for something better. The similarities hit a little too close.
“I wanted to tell you,” he says, looking guilty.
“You should’ve,” I say quietly. “You could be with her today.” I pause. “We agreed there would be no hard feelings.”
He nods. “I wasn’t looking—I just?—”
“You don’t have to explain,” I say, holding up a hand. “I don’t blame you. I can’t fault you for wanting something real, even if I don’t.”
He half-laughs. “Kind of took me by surprise, really. Who knows, maybe the same thing will happen for you.”
“Maybe,” I say, but in my mind I’m more resigned than ever that it won’t.
Because clearly, I’m easy to walk away from. Even with a business agreement, even with things thought-out and planned, even with clear expectations—Justin still chose someone else.
It’s difficult for me to think that any other situation would end differently.
We stand in silence for a long moment, and the weight of this failure settles on my shoulders. I tried to orchestrate the perfect relationship, the one that would keep my heart safe, and I couldn’t even do that.
Maybe I really am better off alone.
“I met her on a run,” he says, eyes more alive than they’ve been all day. “We started training together, and I don’t know. The rest is history.”
“That’s really great, Justin,” I say, and I mean it, because he’s a decent guy to show up here and go through with this dinner, even if he spent more time on his phone than at the table. The least I can do is be happy for him.
“Do you think—” he motions toward the door.
“Of course,” I say. “Go”
He nods, grabs his coat, and leans in to kiss my cheek.
It’s the most emotion I’ve felt for him—apathy.
“Good luck, Raya,” he says.
“You too.” I smile, not sure how I’m going to explain this to my family.
On his way out, I hear him thank them for the hospitality as he claims to have a work emergency to deal with. I drop into the armchair and let out a sigh.
A few minutes later, there’s a quiet knock on the door, and I look up to see my mom standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?”
She walks over and sits on the ottoman, facing me.
“I’m fine,” I say, unsure why tears sting the corners of my eyes. “I don’t think it’s going to work out with Justin.”
Mom’s smile is sad.
“I’m really not upset about that,” I say. “It’s just—” I meet her eyes. “Do you think some people are just meant to be alone?”
She watches me for a few seconds. “I imagine some people might be.”
I nod.
