Page 60 of My Merry Mistake
I realize I’ve been holding my breath, probably because I shouldnotstill be standing here. I start back the way I came, exhaling a long, slow breath as I go.
Raya, take time off? Right.
I know she needs it.
I also know there’s absolutely no way she’s going to let that happen.
Chapter Fifteen
Raya
No. Way.
All I heard was “time off.”
Correction. I heard other things, too. Phrases like “extreme stress” and “significant changes” weave around in my mind, along with another phrase?—
No way.
There is no way I can back off. There is too much to do. Besides, my job is my life. I wouldn’t even know what to do with free time.
I can hear my family coming down the hall before I see them. They’re loud, and they have a way of making their presence known.
It’s embarrassing sometimes, but not right now. Right now I’m just glad they’re here.
I inhale a sharp breath and put my brave face on. Twice the staff asked if I wanted someone back here with me, but I said no, half out of embarrassment and half because I know they’re going to make this into a much bigger deal than it is, especially Mom. The scene the paramedics made at work was humiliating enough.
Besides, I’mfine.
Eloise snaps the curtain back with extreme force, revealing my entire family. She and Poppy rush toward me, coming around each side of the bed, wrapping their arms around me and squeezing.
“Are you okay? What happened?” The questions from my sisters overlap.
Mom is signing for my dad, and when I meet her eyes, I see deep concern. I hate being the reason for it.
We have a silent agreement that I will never give her cause to worry. That she can always count on me to jump in when anyone in the family needs me.
That’s my role as the oldest daughter. And I’m good at it.
“I’m okay,” I say, looking at my mother. “I’m okay, Mom.”
She nods, and I see a wave of relief wash over her. My dad wraps his arm around her, and she moves a little closer to him—and a pang of sadness hits me in the chest.
I’ve accepted the fact that the kind of love they have isn’t in the cards for me.
It’s a classic kind of love. Untarnished by modern things. A deep adoration for one another that’s so simple, yet so complex that it becomes almost an anomaly.
Maybe it’s because they had to learn to communicate in a way that was innately intimate—one that most people often don’t know what they’re saying. There’s a frustration in that, I’m sure, but also a privacy that keeps their love pure.
It stings to be reminded that I’ll never have that. My sisters have both found great guys, and I’msohappy for them. But sometimes—when I see the way my people are paired off in such perfect ways, it makes me feel sad.
And left out.
Great. Now I’m feeling sorry for myself on top of everything else.
I close my eyes for a quick moment, squeeze my sisters back, and assure everyone that I’m okay. When I open them, I see Finn standing in the doorway, looking slightly out of place and a little unsure.
But also—why didn’t he leave? And more importantly, why am I glad he’s still here?
