Page 35 of Regret Me Not
THEY REMEMBEREDwrapping paper, ribbon, condoms, and lubricant.
They forgot scissors and tape.
“I don’t even believe this,” Hal said as he stared at the paper on the table in disbelief. “This is… this isepic. I’m, like, if I never see another Target for the rest of my life, it will be too soon for me in my next life and the guy I bang after that!”
“How can Derrick not have any scissors?” Pierce asked, rifling through the drawers. “I mean, we bought ribbon—if I just had, you know, scissors, I could cut the ribbon and wrap everything and use the ribbon to secure it.”
Hal turned his head to gaze at Pierce in disbelief. “So you admit to being a Boy Scout, but you’re going to deny the unicorn thing?”
Pierce wrinkled his nose. “Fine. Yes. Whatever.” He flopped down in the love seat, which was where Hal usually sat when they watched television. “I’m at a loss,” he said, shaking his head. “I say I skip Christmas at my sister’s, turn down the job, and start living at the beach. You can throw me money when you visit from college.”
“That’s not a plan!” Hal told him, horror coloring his voice.
“It is too,” Pierce insisted. “It’s a plan. It’s very much a plan.”
“Well, it’s ashittyplan. How about you stay here, watch some TV, and let me go get scissors and tape at the little drugstore up at the corner. They’re crappy for Christmas shopping, but scissors and tape they can handle.”
Pierce gazed at him in naked gratitude. “I would do unmentionable things to and for you just so I didn’t have to go to Target again.”
Hal rolled his eyes. “Same here.” He handed Pierce the remote control and bent down, squeezing his shoulder and nuzzling his temple. “Nap. I’ll get takeout. We’ll work out double tomorrow, how’s that?”
Perfect.
PIERCE JERKEDawake about an hour later, looking around the condo muzzily. He’d fallen asleep watching a rerun of2 Broke Girlsand now a rerun ofCastlehad taken its place. Hal had opened the shades over the sliding glass doors, and the sun, which had been sulking behind clouds and haze when he’d first sat down, was now glaring at him on the horizon.
He yawned and stretched, trying to remember if he’d heard Hal return.
Takeout boxes sat on the table—unopened and still steaming—so he must have been there somewhere.
Pierce stood, shivering, and made his way over the rubber mats toward the bedroom, wondering if Hal had gone down for a nap of his own. He approached the doorway, which stood dark, and heard Hal’s voice.
“No, I haven’t decided. I told you that ten minutes ago.” He paused, and in the darkness, Pierce could see him stretched horizontally on the bed, facing the window and not the doorway. “You said I had until after New Year’s—why is this a problem?” He grunted and swung his feet over his bottom, the gesture absurdly young. “What do Iwantyou to do? Well, maybe not kick me out for Christmas—that would be a start. But how about letting me get my massage therapy certificate—I mean, I could go for sports medicine if you want, but I’ve been trying to get that done between my coursework for two years. You have to know I mean it by now!”
Whatever the reply, it wasnotwhat he wanted to hear. He groaned and rolled over to his back. “Yeah! I get it! I’m not good enough to be your kid anyway—you’ve made that clear!” He spotted Pierce and held out his hand.
For a moment, Pierce thought about retreating into the living room to give him his “space,” but two things stopped him.
One was that Hal had been there—two of the worst phone calls of his life, and Hal had been there, holding, supporting—making love. Pierce couldn’t just leave him to work out his own shit.
But Pierce didn’twantto leave him—that was the second thing.
He stepped into the room and threw himself lengthwise on the bed next to Hal, then rolled over on his side and slid his hand up under Hal’s T-shirt so he was touching bare skin.
Hal captured his hand and clung.
“No, I’m not being overdramatic—and it’s not a gay thing. You don’t want me home because I’m gay—excuse the hell out of me for being gay. You don’t want me to leech off your fortune unless I’m doing something worthwhile. Like be a lawyer. And only be a lawyer. And be nothing else but a lawyer.”
The next thing over the phone made him sit up explosively, and Pierce had to scramble to sit next to him.
“How do I know that? Because I’ve been telling you. Yes I have. Yes I have. No, yes I have! I’ve beentelling you for yearsthat I want to do something else. Well, maybe if you’d have let me take the general ed I wanted to instead of the prelaw, I would have had a better idea sooner, but I know now!” He took a deep breath through the next flurry of conversation—from a woman, it sounded like, so Mom, probably—and then blurted, “If you guys cared at all about who Iaminstead of who youwant me to be, maybe this wouldn’t sound like drama to you!”
He listened for another minute and then burst out, “I’ll tell you after New Year’s like I said I would! No!Don’tcall me on Christmas Day, because I don’t give a fuck what you’re doing, just like you don’t give afuckabout me!”
He hit End Call, but that apparently wasn’t satisfying enough, because he cocked his arm back, and Pierce had to rescue the phone.
“Oh oh oh! Hold up there, Chief—if you’re thinking about going solo without backup, paying for a phone is a bad way to start.”
Hal let go of the phone and threw himself back onto the bed, scrubbing his face with his hands. “Augh!”
