Page 58 of Bobby Green
Who was warm and who got one-night stands and who just wanted to be touched. In that moment all Bobby wanted—allhe wanted—was to be touched by Ethan, since he couldn’t be touched by Reg.
Ethan told him that Dex and Kane had gotten back early, and Bobby, God help him, jumped to the wrong conclusion immediately. And then was mortified. Reeling from the thought of Reg and Lance and Trey, the conversation devolved from there. In his entire life, Bobby had never hit on someone the way he tried to with Ethan in that moment.
Later he would reflect on the miracle that he caught Ethan on the night Ethan would say no.
Ethan had a boyfriend—and one he truly cared for. Ethan wanted to make it work, and that meant no hookups. Work was work and hugs were hugs, and Ethan could take all the hugs people would give him—but not the sex.
Because even porn stars could be faithful.
And he remembered—he’dbeen faithful, in his own way. He’d treated porn like a job, not a lifestyle. He’d moved from girl porn to boy porn—and while part of that had been to address the secret ache he didn’t even want to voice now, part of it had been he hadn’t wanted to cheat on Jessica. And he’d meant that.
Those things he’d said to Ethan, the crass ones about “Ooh boy, a threesome!”—that didn’t have to be who Bobby was. That was Keith Gilmore, or his father, speaking out of his mouth, and he’d worked his whole life to not let that happen.
Bobby had worked his whole life to be the guy on Reg’s couch, the dependable one who didn’t hurt people for kicks. Being hurt—yearning for someone he couldn’t have—that didn’t change who he’d worked to be.
So Bobby listened to Ethan, tucked into his arms like the big brother he’d never had, and closed his eyes. Trey got up to go talk to someone, and Kane took his place on the couch next to Reg, and while Bobby was trying to cope with the idea that he was replaceable on all levels, Ethan kept talking and restored his faith in mankind.
Ethan was in love.
Ethan, the guy who’d climbed on his cock and fucked him unmercifully, was going to make sacrifices to make it work.
There, on the couch, talking to a friend, Bobby could make some decisions he hadn’t had the strength to make on his own—or looking yearningly at Reg.
When he opened his eyes, still in Ethan’s arms, it was like he was seeing daylight for the first time in months. Kane won a battle with Reg and howled, jumping up and down like a gorilla, and Ethan assured Bobby he was the gentlest soul in the world. Suddenly Bobby could see all the Johnnies guys for what they were. Sex might have clouded his brain for a little, but sex wasn’t the big deal here.
How they treated each other—thatwas the big deal.
So he and Ethan sat and hammered out plans, and suddenly… suddenly… he could see daylight. Could see a future, different than the one he’d been seeing at home.
When Dex tapped him on the wrist, he stood to get his coat and go, looking around to say bye to Reg first.
He found Trey, glaring at him from across the room, instead.
“What?” Trey snarled, coming in to talk privately as Ethan and Dex went to go say bye to Chase and Tommy. “Who do you think you’re looking for?”
“I didn’t see him leave,” Bobby told him, heart sinking. God, when could they stop being stupid about each other? He needed to talk to Regnow, to put an end to the stupid, to the misunderstandings, to the hurting.
“Why would he stay? He heard every word, jerkoff,” Trey growled. “Could you have not hit on Ethan while he was right there?”
“Right after I thought he slept with you and Lance on Christmas Eve,” Bobby snapped back. Then he held up his hand. “Look—I get it. He didn’t. You didn’t. My brain just doesn’t go from Dogpatch to Pornpatch on a dime, okay? I wish it would. I wish I justgotthe difference between sex and caring and what we do in front of the camera, but it fucking takes a while.”
“So you’re going to tear him up while you embrace the learning curve?” Trey’s voice lost some bitterness, so Bobby gained some faith that he could make this right.
“I was hoping we could find it together,” Bobby told him. “Has he left already?”
Trey let out a breath. “I was going to go outside and follow him home.” He glared. “And this time, yes—we were gonna do it, ’cause you’re not the only one who didn’t want to be alone.”
Oh thank God. “Well, if this goes wrong, be my guest. I obviously fucked it up beyond repair. But right now, give me a chance to go make this shit right.”
He hurried outside into the chill air, noting that the fog had come out in a thick blanket. He saw Reg getting into his car, looking around for Trey probably, and called out, “Reg! Wait!”
Reg paused for a moment, a look of such agony on his face that Bobby almost stopped.
“We can’t be friends anymore,” Reg said, his throat thick. “I can’t do it.”
Bobby’s heart stuttered. “Reg, I—”
“They spent the night on the couch. They did. And I ain’t had sex in two months because you didn’t like it, and you just went and hit up Ethan, right in front of me, and that wasn’t—”
