Page 18 of String Boys
It was almost unbearable.
But Kelly kissed him back, and Seth got a little better at it. He understood that it was about being slow, and about taste, and that somehow all the things happening with their mouths were spreading to other parts of their bodies. Kelly raised his hand to Seth’s stomach, encountering his jacket, and Seth pulled away.
“Tomorrow,” he promised. “We won’t have jackets on.”
Kelly grinned. “Nope. It’ll be good. It was so worth telling Jimmy no.” His grin faded. “I… I’m not sure how long I knew in my heart I wanted it to be you I kissed, but it feels like my whole life. Like when Matty talks about his girlfriends, all I can picture is you.”
Seth closed his eyes and tried analyze. “You always made me so happy,” he said, shrugging. “I just didn’t think about girls at all.”
Kelly pretended to ponder for a moment. “I’ll take it,” he said with an impish little hop. “Now are you ready? We gotta run fast because it’s fixing to pour again.”
Seth looked out at the sky, which was, as Kelly said, growing darker.
But if they ran now, they could go inside.
And if they went inside, they could go to school tomorrow.
And after school tomorrow, they would be in Seth’s house.
Alone.
With this newfound exciting activity.
Seth was so happy he ducked his head and planted a little kiss on Kelly’s cheek.
“One, two—”
“Three!” Kelly cried. And together they charged out into the rain.
WATCHING KELLYwalk up the steps to his apartment was unexpectedly hard. Seth swept inside his own door thoroughly preoccupied, barely remembering to pull his instrument case out of its special vinyl carrier that he used in the rain. He set it by the door and stripped off his sopping wet jacket—and only then registered that his father was already home.
He was in by the tiny dining room table, setting up takeout.
Seth stared at him blankly. Chinese food. His favorite.
“Dad?”
His father turned and smiled warmly, as though he knew Seth had been distracted. “You noticed. Go wash your hands.”
“You’re home early.”
“Well, I figured we had something important to talk about.”
Seth wasn’t sure what his expression was, but all he could think about was that kiss, that wonderful shining kiss, and how he wanted to do more of it, and how that meant… oh God. What did it mean? Gay? He was gay? And he hadn’t told his father?
His dad laughed gently. “Seth, in a million years, I can’t imagine you doing something that would make your eyes look like that. Now move it!”
Seth nodded and tried to still his breathing. If his dad knew about Kelly and being gay and all the things Seth hadn’t even thought of until just… just… ten minutes ago, it wasn’t bad. And if hedidn’tknow about all that other stuff, what else could it be? Oh God. Seth knew he wasn’t always grounded, that his head was often somewhere else. What had he missed? He tried to connect with the people around him, tried to avoid being lured by the next note, the next chord, the next piece, all the music whirling in his head.
“What?” Dad asked as Seth sat down.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Seth blurted. Because that could be a thing. Seth wasn’t sure how he’d feel about having a stepmom. He guessed seeing his dad be happy in theory was a good thing, but—
“No!” Dad was staring at him in surprise. “No. What would make you say—”
“I don’t understand Chinese food.”
Dad laughed a little. “Well, son, I think we’ve established that you eat it.”
