Page 153 of String Boys
Kelly was crying, and Seth didn’t know what that meant.
“That was a good speech,” Kelly said. “That was a life-changing sort of speech.”
Seth grabbed some tissues and used them to wipe Kelly’s face, since he was holding the really super-placid baby in the crook of his arm.
“Can it change our lives?” he asked after a moment.
“How’s that gonna look?”
Planning. Seth had been bad at planning, but good at chess. This was like chess. “How about I go back to New York and find us a house in Pennsylvania or Connecticut or New Jersey or something. It’s like this weird little incestuous area made up of three states—”
“The tristate area, Seth. It’s an actual thing.”
“Oh. Anyway, I get Amara and Susan to help, and we get a place outside the city by good schools for Chloe and X-man, somewhere you can find a job—”
“I work from home.” Kelly shrugged. “I need to meet with my bosses once, maybe twice a month.”
“See? Then you keep that job, and we find a nanny who can take care of everybody when we’re busy, and we… you know. Live our lives. And maybe I move to Italy in two years—”
“This Gianni guy still hitting on you?”
“No. He’s sleeping with this girl who plays bassoon. Anyway, he likes me in his orchestra, and he’s going back to Italy eventually, and we can go there. And we can bring the kids and do the same thing. And learn Italian. And maybe Germany someday. And we just keep dealing. I mean, it doesn’t end just because we’re together. Even if it was just us, we’d still have to make decisions and balance your stuff and my stuff. And….” Seth hated to admit this. “Yes. Sometimes my stuff is bigger, but that’s because if I don’t show up for work, a thousand people who just paid a shit-ton of money to see me are gonna be real depressed. But some days your stuff is gonna be more important, and I can deal with that. But….” And his façade of adulthood slipped away, leaving behind the kid he’d been at the very beginning.
The kid whose world revolved around Kelly Cruz.
“But God, won’t it be better to deal with it together? ’Cause….” The last six months came crashing back into his heart, and it almost broke all over again. “’Cause being alone these last months sure did feel like the end of my world.”
Kelly nodded, biting his lip, the tears still falling. “Mine too,” he confessed. “God, Seth. I’d rather try almost anything than go back to that. Even the dream of you is better than no you at all.”
Seth wasn’t sure who moved, but they were suddenly kissing, mouths meshed, Seth’s whole soul involved in the kiss, even if he could only put one hand chastely on Kelly’s waist.
They had to pull back, panting, because there was a baby making sucking sounds on his fist, and Seth smiled and leaned his head against Kelly’s.
“Where’s Agnes?”
“At school. Same as Chloe.”
“That kid go down for a nap? Ever?”
“In about two hours. The good news is he sleeps like a rock and stays that way for another two hours.”
“Me and X-man gonna get along just fine.”
Kelly laughed softly. “We gotta talk to my brother first.” He sobered and pulled back. “He looks sort of… well, like a movie special effect, but worse. Just be prepared. He’s all swollen and yellow and bald and shit. It’s… you won’t be able to see the Matty you knew in all of that.”
Seth stared at him in wonder, because he was here and they’d kissed and there would be no more time without the hope of him. “I can still see Chloe and Agnes inyou,” he said. “Is Matty’s heart still in there?”
Kelly’s eyes—such a soulful brown, and so full of life—didn’t quite sparkle, but they did glow, ever so subtly. “First time I’ve seen it in years.”
“I can meet the creature from the black lagoon if I get to talk to real Matty again.” The pain of Matty’s betrayal, the memory of what they’d been to each other as kids, washed over him. “Your brother was my best friend once.”
Kelly’s eye roll was almost epic. “That’s only because he was older. If I’d been older, I would have been your best friendandyour boyfriend.”
“Yeah. Probably.” Seth wanted to kiss his face all over, wanted to devour him whole. Instead he remembered he had to be an adult and pulled back with a sigh. “I need to see if I’ve got any clothes in my carry-on—”
“You don’t,” Kelly muttered. “Oh my God, Seth, I pulled that shit out, and half of it was dirty and the other half was falling apart. Your fatherjust sentyou clothes. What happened?”
“I don’t know. You texted me and there was packing and leaving. That’s all I remember.”
