“Yeah,” Chris laughed into the phone. “It"s the only time you never
question whether or not you should top.”
“I like it when you top,” Xan mumbled, too foggy to even blush, or
wonder if Leo was listening, or anything. “Feels good.”
Chris laughed some more. “Xander, you know it"s about more than
how it feels. It"s about who leads.”
“Mmm… you always lead real good, Chris. You have good plans.
You wanted to go to Chapel Hill, and that was good.”
“That was your idea, genius. I just got us the applications.”
“Naw….” Xander was so tired. Wasn"t that wrong? Wasn"t he an
athlete? Shouldn"t he be up to playing on a hurt foot, and then partying
all night? But he was trying to find the memory of who decided they
should play at UNC and all he could remember was the smell of sweat
and clean shampoo in Chris"s wild, curly hair when they were sitting
next to each other at the kitchen table, making plans for this exact future.
Except in their plans, he and Chris had been together.
“Geez,” he mumbled, “why don"t I remember that?”
“Because your whole world spiraled out of control when you were
a little kid,” Chris said, sounding grown up and far away, “and you like
to think that other people are running the show, because it makes you
feel safe. Truth is, Xander, you"re damned good at running your own
show.”
“None of that makes any sense,” Xander mumbled. “But God, I
miss you already.”
It was the last thing he remembered saying before Leo took the
phone from him and he slept.
138 Amy Lane
Slumber Parties
THE doc made him sit out for two games, and for a scant moment, his
heart lifted. A week! No basketball for a week, and he could go to