Page 191 of The Locker Room

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when he came down the stairs, that"s where he headed, mindless of the

chilly rain that had started after he"d gotten home.

“No, Xander, don"t go running,” Penny sighed, and she got off her

stool to go take his plate from him and put it back at the counter. “Look,

I"m sorry I got all bitchy at you, but… Jesus. You"re breaking my heart

here. Wehaveknown each other for a long time, and youarelike my

brother, and I don"t know if you and Chris can keep this up, you know?

Wouldn"t it be nice if Audrey here was in on it, so she knows what to

expect?”

“Don"t I have to call my agent or something?” he asked, feeling

pathetic. God, what a stupid fucking world, when he had to have his

agent and a lawyer"s approval for something as easy as the truth.

“Xander….” Penny scrubbed her face with her hands, and then

looked at him helplessly. “Look, I can draw up a non-disclosure contract

if you want. I could probably make one more airtight than Leo can.

Mandy can sign one, Audrey can sign one, and the lawyer in me is just

screamingto do that, you know? But you want to know what Ireally

want?”

“To make me finish my chicken?” Xander was too tired for this

shit—he really was. Emotional shit. Did straight men have to deal with

The Locker Room 165

this when all they wanted was a couch and a remote? Xander liked to

think so, but maybe, like everything else, it was something straight men

got to have that gay men didn"t. Maybe it was, like, straight-topia, where

nobody gave a shit who he slept with, and nobody wanted to bring

ancient history into the mix, and nobody wanted to know how he was

feeling. He could just sit on the couch with his dogs and be emotionally

unavailable, and everybody could think he was macho.

“No, not finish your chicken!” Penny half-laughed, and Xander

filed “straight-topia” under things he would have to remember to tell

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