Page 227 of The Locker Room

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“You"re all he needs,” Penny told him. She was sobbing now, on

the other side of the door. “You"re all he needs.”

Xander wiped his eyes, and wiped them again, and for a moment

the only sound was of the two of them breathing. His voice, into that

silence, was almost an obscene burst of sound.

196 Amy Lane

“Penny, I look like shit, and I smell like puke. Go away, wouldja,

and let me pull myself together?”

“I"ll go see if Leo can get you something to wear,” she said quietly,

and he heard her leave.

“Chris,” he murmured to the white-tiled wall, “you"d better pull

through this, you sonuvabitch. I fucking need you. Without you, I"m not

even living out of a garbage bag. I"minthe garbage bag, and it"s cold

and it"s dark, and the world"s pressing down on me, and I can"t breathe.

You pull through. Just fucking pull through, okay?”

And then, on a shuddering breath, he remembered that Chris was

only human.

“God, if you"re listening, give him a leg up. Sometimes he needs

someone to feed him the important shots. He"s still a good player. He

just can"t always stand on his own.”

And then he wiped the back of his face with his hand and opened

the door to the tiny john. He ran water over his wrists and over his face,

and wiped his eyes on the upper sleeve of his sweatshirt.

With a hard sigh, the kind that was meant to fortify his muscles,

bones, and sinews, he walked out of the bathroom and went to wait with

his family.

The Locker Room 197

Important Clocks

CHRIS was in his first surgery for sixteen hours. Cliff and Alicia, God

bless them, took Andi and Jed home. Andi and Jed came back eight

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