198 Amy Lane
He wasn"t aware then that he"d just outed the two of them, but he
did see the terrible comprehension in her eyes, and not another word was
spoken about drugs to keep him asleep.
But nobody was there when Xander saw the surgeon come out to
give someone bad news the first time. He was not good at reading
people, had no real people-imagination, actually, so he couldn"t tell if it
was a husband or a father or a brother who had died, but he remembered
the faces of the family, as they tried to be strong at first and then
crumpled, like steel girders rippling under too much weight, and an
earthquake to boot.
They said “No no no no no no no—” a lot, and Xander wondered if
maybe, if he asked pretty, and the surgeon came out to greethimwith
that look on her face, God would let Xander"s heart stop before he
realized that “Yes, it was true, and you will never see Chris smile again”
actually registered.
So that was the first time Xander watched someone get bad news.
The second time, Mandy was with him, and she watched his knees
buckle as he sat down on the floor,hard,when the surgeon came in with
that look on her face, and then went to talk to the other family in the
room.
That was when the universal decision was made to not only keep
someone there when Xander was sleeping, but when he was awake too.
Xander told them all that he was fine. He made sure everybody
went home and got rest, he went to fetch food and horrible coffee, and
pillows for everyone. He even sent Leo out to get a computer and
chargers and everything so they could distract themselves with smart
phones and television and bad movies and anything, anything at all that
made the waiting less than excruciating.
Leo apparently raided the Big & Tall section when he went to