Page 231 of The Locker Room

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little one, sideways—and Xander had rested his head on his outstretched

arm and slept, really slept, for the first time in two days.

He woke up when they came to take Chris away for the next

surgery, and the whole thing started again.

After four days, Xander was so exhausted, he was practically

fugueing from one reality to another. He would blink and see Penny,

from when she was a girl, shaking him awake on the Edwards"s couch,

telling him it was time for breakfast. He would pretend to eat and then

want to sleep again, on the musty couch from that tiny, dark, freezing

apartment, and he would be all alone. He would sit and watch a movie,

and try to listen while Mandy mindlessly chatted over the dialogue (she

was good at that) and he would be in college, when he was dreaming

about him and Chris being knights in shining armor, or condottieri

200 Amy Lane

captains, fighting for a just cause, and he would wake up and they"d be

watching an Austin Powers movie, and he"d wonder why Chris wasn"t

there to laugh with him.

On the third day, Chris came out of surgery again, and they made

Xander shower again and totter around the building while they prepped

Chris for his room. He was on his second loop when Leo kicked off his

dress shoes and forced Xander to keep up with him, running around the

hospital campus like kids running a race through someone"s back yard.

When they pulled up after a couple of laps, Leo found his five-hundred-

dollar loafers and looked them over glumly.

“Jesus, I think I"ll have to go to the mall and get me some of those

spiff-tacular pieces of shit onyourfeet. I"m not putting those shredded

socks into these shoes—disgusting!”

Xander, feeling a little bit clearer than he had been, offered to go to

the store for him, but Leo had shaken his head. His ruddy, animated face,

still blotchy from the exertion, became as serious as Xander had ever

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