Page 267 of The Locker Room

---

night I couldn"t go through with it. I met up with Chris at the locker

room of Arco, and… we just agreed to quit it. It was worse than being

outed. It was worse than anything. We kissed, you know, to seal the

bargain….” Xander trailed off, and Chris took up the thread.

“And the coach walked in on us, and I was transferred the next

day.”

232 Amy Lane

The interview went to commercial, but nobody in the room tried to

fast-forward through it. The attention of everyone in the room was

focused on the television screen, and Xander thought that if Chris could

run, the two of them would be running along their jogging path, running

with the wind in their face and their shame at their backs, running until

the horrible weight of this confession felt like the sand under their feet.

“That must have been awful,” Andi said, and Chris clenched

Xander"s hand until his fingers turned white.

“Mom—”

“No, Chris. I"m serious. Neither of you boys are like that. I can"t

even imagine how hard that must have been.”

Chris looked sideways at him, and Xander wondered if his face

was as white and blotchy as Chris"s was.

“It really sucked,” he confessed quietly. “I think it was even worse

than living apart.”

“It was like living apart in the same house,” Xander confirmed.

“Those days—” He shuddered. “Horrible goddamned feeling.”

Penny fast-forwarded through the next few commercials, and

Xander was sure it was because she wanted something other than the

silence to fill the room. But the next questions weren"t any more

comfortable. Chris"s DUI, how hard it was to live apart when they"d

been all but married since they"d graduated from high school, the

specifics of the accident and Chris"s recovery—hard questions.

---