Page 60 of Shades of Henry
It was so close to something their mother would have said—and so close to what Henry had said to Lance the night after he’d gotten back from that double shift—that Henry had to laugh. “Sure.”
They’d driven together—Davy was going to drop Henry off at the apartment on his way back to the shop—so in short order, they found themselves at one of those yoghurt by the pound places. Henry got the biggest size with all the chocolate, because he was in that kind of mood.
Davy got a tiny cup of sorbet with two gummy bears, because apparently once you were a model and the entire world saw your body up close and personal, that shit never faded.
“So you want to hear?” Davy asked as they settled in. “’Cause it’s not pretty.”
Henry rolled his eyes. “Jesus God, David. You’ve got porn models lined up the block who consider you, personally, as their wet dream. My entire household is like, ‘Yeah, that guy, I’d hit that!’ right down to my own—” He swallowed. “—boyfriend. Just… just can I see you not be perfect? Can I know… you know. There’s recovery from being human?”
Davy gave him a sad smile. “Oh, Henry. I am so far from perfect. You have no idea the horrible things I’ve done. I hope you never learn about half the shit I let happen when I was trying to figure things out. But… but Scott. How about the breakup story? Let’s do the breakup story, okay?”
“Sure.”
“I broke up with him, and he… he sort of stalked me.”
Henry swallowed. “Like how?”
“Well, I told him we were broken up, but he’d show up at my house and sort of… talk his way through the front door and into my bed. And I’d feel like shit, you know? Didn’t I have any fucking spine?”
“But you see them,” Henry said. “And you remember when they were your world. And suddenly, it’s easier. It’s easier to let them in.”
“Yeah,” David said, meeting Henry’s eyes. “It was. But it wasn’t good for me. And… and I was watching two guys, one of whom is still my best friend, self-destruct over… everything. Over modeling. Over each other. Over being in the closet. And I… I couldn’t do it. If someone was going to be in my life, it had to be real. My friends were real. Scott was never going to be real. So….” He looked away. “This is so embarrassing. John did blow back then. And he’d just always have the mirror in the back bathroom. And maybe once a week when we were both up too late trying to edit shit and get it all uploaded and we were wiped out, he’d go back to the bathroom and come back sniffling and going ‘And now I’m a fucking god!’ And Scott was texting me, and I needed courage. So for my first and only time, I went back and took a snort too, then walked home.”
“David!” Henry was flabbergasted. This was more unbelievable than the porn.
“You wanted ugly,” Davy said, his blue eyes big and wounded. “You asked for this!”
“I’m sorry,” Henry told him, and suddenly the weight of talking to his brother, human being to human being, sat on his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’ll shut up now. It was only the once? You swear?”
“Yeah.” Davy shoveled a big mouthful of sorbet into his mouth, staring at his half-empty cup.
Feeling like shit, Henry dumped a bunch of his chocolate chips on top of his brother’s tiny sorbet. “I’m sorry,” he said again, humbly. “I… I guess it’s scarier when you’re not perfect. I thought it would be easier, but I’m dumb.”
Davy looked up and winked, which must have been hard because his eyes were bright and shiny. “I’ve never been perfect, Henry. But I was sort of at my worst that night. Anyway, I got home, and Scott was waiting on my porch. John was right about that first time, by the way. I reallydidfeel like a god, so I went inside, slammed the door in his face, and then came back with all his CDs, which I proceeded to throw at his head.”
Henry couldn’t help it. He giggled. “Bad to the bone, huh?”
“A hardened criminal,” David said dryly. He gave Henry a shy look and took a couple of chocolate chips on his spoon, then closed his eyes as he chewed. “God. You and Carlos—you’re gonna make me fat. Anyway, whipping the CDs at him felt damned good. But they might not have done it.”
“What did do it?”
A fond smile passed over David’s features—one that made him truly look like an angel, and not simply a really attractive young parent. “Carlos. He saw the whole thing. Scott was gearing up to get rough, and suddenly he had a broken nose. Next thing I know, Kane had moved himself into my house, along with all the scaly things. The original idea was that he’d sleep on the guest bed, but with all the terrariums, there wasn’t any room. He just crawled in next to me.” David shrugged, looking as sublimely happy as one person could be. “Stayed.”
“That’s… that’s really sweet,” Henry said, biting his lip. “That’s…. God. That’s….” He closed his eyes, his throat swelling. “I wish… I wish Mom and Dad could hear that story and know that it’s… it’s beautiful.”
David blinked rapidly and shook his head. Then he took a bigger spoonful of the chocolate chips. “That is not ever going to happen,” he said thickly. “I wish it was. I…. Trav emails me about once a month. You want me to forward that? You can write him back. He wants to know you’re okay.”
Henry’s own throat felt swollen. “Yeah. What have you told him so far? Did you tell him about the investigation?”
David shook his head. “No. I figured if things went south, there’d be plenty of time, and if you got cleared, it wasn’t something anyone back there needed to know.”
Henry managed a smile. “Having my back like always. Thanks, Davy.”
He smiled faintly. “Yeah, well, now that you’ve joined the gay side, I sort of want to keep you in my evil lair, you know?” His mouth went crooked. “It’s good having family.”
“Yeah.” Oh Lord. He really was going to say this. “If you have the right kind. Thanks, Davy. For being here for me.”
“What else was I going to do?” And he shrugged again, like it was no big deal, but Henry knew it was the world.
