Page 61 of Shades of Henry
And because his brother was such a good guy, Henry needed to pose the hard question, because he needed help with this.
“I… I’ve been thinking, and it’s not a great thing.”
David looked at him, suddenly all alert. He straightened from what had become a slouch over his sorbet and cocked his head in a classic listening pose, and Henry wondered if this was the Dex that all the guys at Johnnies seemed to need so badly.
“What? What’s going on?”
Henry let out a breath. “I…. Malachi. He… the further away I get from him, the more I realize the things he did… they weren’t good things.”
“Was there more?” this new David asked soberly. “Besides when you left—because that’s bad enough.”
Henry became suddenly invested in the chocolate cream in the bottom of his fro-yo cup. After that moment with Lance, telling him about the sliced shirt, the scar on the back of his neck, he’d had odd flashes of the last eleven years. Mal splitting his lip with a casual backhand after Henry had said, in all innocence, “Too bad we can’t do this after you’re married.” Waking up in the middle of sex in their barracks. Henry had drawn a line about that, but Mal wanted him to know lines weren’t for the two of them. The times Henry had just given in because the fight wouldn’t be worth the implicit threat in Mal’s smile.
“It wasn’t every day or even every month,” he said softly. “And I’m not saying I shouldn’t have put an end to it long before. But it was always there. If I left, Mal would find a way to make me sorry.” Deep breath. “In the end, I was sorry enough to leave anyway.”
David’s hand over his on the table helped still the shaking. “It’s hard,” he said. “To walk away from something like that. Especially when you’re so convinced any relationship at all is wrong.”
“You are really fucking generous,” Henry said after a moment. “But believe it or not, this isn’t about me—not really. It’s that… that Scott went off the rails after you broke up with him, right?”
“Yeah?” David saw this was leading somewhere.
Henry hoped he was ready for where Henry saw it going. “And if Scott went off the rails after you ended a relationship like that, I’m wondering….” He swallowed. This was hard. “Davy, is our sister safe?”
He watched as the color drained from his brother’s face. “Oh hell. Jesus. I… I wish I’d thought of that.”
“It’s not your fault,” Henry said. God, his throat felt shredded, because every word was like glass. “I… I didn’t exactly scream ‘My brother-in-law is an abusive rapist!’ when I got out of the Army.” He stopped, sucking in a breath that tasted like blood.
“What?” David asked softly.
“It’s the first time I said that word.” He closed his eyes hard. He wanted to take it back.
“Which one?”
But Henry shook his head. “I can’t. Not and function.” And for the first time, he got why Jackson Rivers would risk heart failure and having his boyfriend break up with him over stitches in his shoulder so he could keep on keeping on.
God, sometimes you had to swallow the pain so you didn’t fall apart.
“Henry, you’re going to have to say it sometime. You know that, right?”
Henry nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “But today, you and me have to talk to our brother so we can make sure our sister is okay.” Debbie might never talk to them again—particularly if she found out about Malachi and Henry, but even if she didn’t, they were gay. Her parents had written them off, and they were both aware of the fact that she had too. But she was still their little sister, whether she recognized them or not. They had to warn her if they could. Because they had to. It was only right. “I…,” Henry said, trying to direct the conversation toward helping Debbie. “I… you know. My fuckups are my own.”
“You were coerced,” David said, brows drawing inward. “And yeah, there was a lot of gray there. But Malachi is a spineless weasel, and I knew that when you were in the eighth grade. But I left, and I didn’t get a say in who Debbie married. And you and Mal….” He shook his head. “I didn’t even know how to talk to you about that.”
“I wouldn’t have listened,” Henry said honestly. “I would have made fun of you for being a….” He couldn’t even say the word now. “But in a million years, I never would have admitted I was one too.” He shook his head. “Nobody could have helped me there but me. And I did finally, but… but I didn’t know how bad it had gotten until suddenly it wasn’t there anymore.”
“No,” David said, searching his face. “You don’t.” He grimaced and pulled out his phone. “C’mon. I’m going to shoot Travis an email right now, and you can help me word it so I don’t give away anything you don’t want me to. You ready?”
Henry nodded. Better now than when it was too late, right?
He could only hope.
DAVY DROPPEDhim off just as the heat was getting way too intense for the jeans and sport coat he’d worn to the service. He pounded up the stairs, hoping to have a cool shower and change his clothes before Lance got home from his workout.
What greeted him on the landing was a cross between a horror movie and a teen comedy.
“Uh….”
“Don’t say anything,” Randy said miserably.
