Page 92 of Summer Lessons
Mason grimaced. “I don’t know. It might be true. Ask me.”
Terry rolled his eyes. “You just using me for sex?”
“Absolutely. Next question?” Mason couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.
“Be serious!”
Mason took a deep breath and tried to be the grown-up. Only succeeded a little. “I amterrifiedthat’s the only reason you’re with me. Because I put out, and I was easy, and I was there,” he said soberly.
Terry looked uncomfortable. “That’s how it was at first,” he admitted.
“I know it.”
“It’s more than that now.”
Mason swallowed. “I was hoping. Is there anything else Rudy said?”
Shrug. “He said if you really cared about me, you would have asked me to move in with you.”
Great. “I was sort of hoping you’d ask me, when you were ready.”
The look he sent Mason was hurt and pissed. “Why do I have to do the asking?” The dog dropped the stick at Terry’s feet, and he bent down and scratched it behind the ears.
“Because you’re the one who’s finally sprouting some wings, here. I don’t want you to move in with me because I’m a rich old guy with a nice house. I want you to move in with me because you hate it when we don’t see each other.” Mason offered his hand to the damned dog, who was going to weigh more than he did when it was grown. “Hi, dog.”
The dog licked his knuckles.
“I don’t think of you like that!” Terry objected, chucking the stick across the creek with enough force to lose it in the trees on the other side.
The dog took off, and they were left alone.
“Whatdoyou think of me as?” Mason asked, wanting the answer so damned bad.But we don’t always get what we want.
“I think of you as a friend,” Terry said with dignity. “Maybe the best friend I’ve ever had. And the best sex I’ve ever had. What does that make us?”
In love.“Boyfriends.” Mason went with the obvious.
“But I don’t know how to have a boyfriend.” Apparently Terry was going for the same.
“You… you make dates with them to do stuff,” Mason said, feeling plaintive. “Even if it’s stuff you think they won’t like, you ask anyway. Like looking for posters. Or going to see a movie. You surprise them unexpectedly with gifts—doesn’t have to be pricey. You tell them before you’re going to miss a meeting, because you know they might be planning on you. You… you hug them in public and kiss them on the cheek when they’ve said something nice.”You hold them tight and say you love them and promise to be faithful and to never let each other go.
“I… this is a permanent thing you’re talking about,” Terry said, like this had suddenly dawned on him.
“It would be if we moved in.”
“Areyouready for me to move in?” The horror in his voice was unmistakable.
“In a hot second. Months ago. March.” He couldn’t have lied if he’d had a teleprompter.
“But why wouldn’t yousayanything?” Terry asked, eyes bright. “Why wouldn’t you—”
“Because you weren’t ready,” Mason said. “You’re not now. You have an apartment you want to decorate, you have friends you want to invite over. You—you get to do that, Terry. I have no right to take that away from you.” The dog splashed noisily across the creek at that point, and they both watched him struggle up the side of the ravine.
“Then how do we do this? I don’t… I don’t have a schedule. I… I don’t want to leave you hanging and….”
Mason took a couple of steps toward him, uncertain in the close heat of the woods. “Terry?” he said gently, taking his hand. “C’mere.”
Terry went, hiding in his embrace like a child.
