Page 23 of Sean's Sunshine
Sean’s lips curled up slightly. “Well, I am young for the force.”
Billy had smiled, then left the room shortly after that, but the conversation had stuck with him the whole next day. And then, the night before, he hadn’t gone in to talk again, and Sean had cried out in his sleep.
And Billy’s sense of protectiveness, his sense of gentleness that he’d thought he’d put away for good when he’d been forced out of the house, had risen up, and he’d placed that sweet, almost unconscious kiss on Sean’s temple.
Had Sean felt that?
The thought had haunted him all day.
“Boy, were you a space cadet today,” Curtis told him as they left the classroom. Billy hated to admit it, but he really liked having other Johnnies guys in his classes with him at Sac City. Something about having his porn friends there in what he was hoping would take him to his real life made him feel like he could actually make engineering that real life. He could be a Johnnies success story—like Henry’s brother and his husband, or Reg and Bobby, or that guy Ethan who had mostly done porn to be hugged and held a lot. There could be life after porn, and he could be part of it. He knew it because his brothers were there with him working for the same thing.
“Yeah,” Billy murmured. “Sorry. Thinking deep thoughts, you know?”
Curtis grimaced. “I was just worried about Cotton.”
Oh Lord. Billy was a bad, bad friend. “Any news about him and his soldier guy?” Since that day he and Sean had taken Lance’s car in to be detailed, Cotton had been off the radar. Apparently Cotton and his soldier had gone off into never-never land to keep soldier boy safe until he could get the people chasing him. There was probably a lot more to it than that, but nobody told the flophouse boys anything. It was weird. It was like their entire focus was porn and getting their shit together. Until he’d moved to Sean’s place, it hadn’t hit him how the whole thing was a trap for postadolescent narcissism. (TakethatPsychology 101—Billy was starting to think he should have gotten a better grade in that class!)
“Naw.” Curtis shook his head. “But I gotta tell you—you’re gone, and it’s only me, Randy, and Vinnie. I’m not sure if we should get someone else or—”
Billy shrugged. “I probably don’t got too much longer,” he said. “My sick guy—”
Curtis was African American, with pale gold-bronze skin, freckles, and a brown buzz cut. He stood about Billy’s height, and aside from the race and the freckles, Billy had always felt like they were kindred spirits. Curtis too was an irritable bastard, and neither of them were big on charity or soft emotions. Henry had once described them as prickly, and Billy thought that was about perfect.
So when Curtis let out a guffaw and a disgusted snort, Billy took notice.
“What?”
“We all know his name, Billy. And he’s sort of, you know, in the circle now. You can call him Sean.”
Billy swallowed. “Man, whatever. He’s getting better.”
“Yeah, but he’s got a spare room, and you’re live-in help for when he goes back to work. He seems like a decent guy. You won’t need to come back, you know?”
“You trying to get rid of me?” Billy asked, not sure if he should be hurt.
“God no. You’re one of the few people at Johnnies I feel like I understand. But….” Curtis bit his lip, uncharacteristically diffident. “But I was thinking when Cotton left. Even if he comes back, he’s going to be a different guy. Not the same lost boy, right? I mean, he’ll still be all Bambi eyes and shit, but now we’ve all seen how strong he can be. We don’t have to let him go back to being lost and afraid, but he probably won’t anyway. And it’s good to see someone move on. It was good to watch Lance and Henry move out and watch Lance quit the biz. It’s not that I’m ever gonna be ashamed of what I did to get through school, but….” He shrugged. “I don’t want to do it for the rest of my life.”
They’d been walking together through the campus, but they’d come to a split in the path where Billy had to go to his Humanities 101 class and Curtis had to head for world history.
“Meet here after your class,” Billy told him, probably unnecessarily, but it was always good to double-check plans. “I’ll give you a ride home.” Because the bus was never fun.
“You got the Charger back?” Curtis asked eagerly, and Billy couldn’t help the grin that split his face.
“Oh my God. Whoever those guys were that took it down to the desert? They’re fuckinggeniuses,man. That thing came back, like, with UFO speed, and the suspension? Don’t even get me started.” He kissed his fingertips at the perfection of it. “It’s fucking amazing. It’s one ride home you’re not gonna wanna miss.”
Curtis laughed gleefully. “Then hell yeah, meet here after class.” He sighed. “I suppose we have to pick Randy up at Sean’s and give him a ride home too, don’t we?”
Billy grunted. “Yeah, and sorry brother, but….”
“But tall guy gets the front.” He let out a sigh. “That’s okay. It’ll be worth it. Meet you here!”
A GOODplan, but not to be. When Billy arrived back at Sean’s place, he found Jackson Rivers and Henry in Sean’s living room, with Randy and Vinnie and two pizzas—one Johnnies guys friendly—on the coffee table, and news.
Jackson, as always, looked like magnificent hell. He’d put on some sorely needed weight and muscle tone over the summer, and his boyfriend apparently nagged him into a haircut every six weeks, because his dirty-blond hair was no longer as shaggy as it had been when Billy had first seen him in June. But he’d been bruised and battered some since Billy had last seen him, in the flophouse caring for Cotton’s sick guy, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
Henry looked just like him, except Henry’s hair was blonder and always cut military short, and he had a stockier build. When he had bruises on his face, he seemed like he’d wipe himself off and lunge back into the fray. Jackson would carry the banner and try not to get blown to bits, but Henry would be right behind him, taking out anyone gunning for him.
“Whoa!” Curtis said, coming in behind Billy. “It’s a party. What’s the occasion?”
