Page 33 of Sean's Sunshine
“My next shift is in three weeks.”
Sean fought not to struggle for breath.
“Don’t stress yourself,” Billy told him. “I’ll think about it. You gotta think about it too. ’Cause if we mean it one way, we’re friends for life. But you mean it the other, it’s not only that I’m out of a job.”
Sean tilted his head and sought out Billy’s eyes, which was hard because Billy wasn’t looking at him. Finally he turned his head and those bitter, cynical eyes locked with Sean’s, except they weren’t bitter or cynical anymore.
They were vulnerable.
“Fair,” Sean mouthed, and Billy nodded.
“Fair.”
They’d think about it.
And given Sean couldn’t talk about stupid shit until he could breathe again, that meant he wouldn’t be thinking about much else.
Kites
BILLY GLANCEDsideways at Sean, checking his breathing, assessing his color, making sure he wasn’t too flushed or too pale or too whatever. He’d been out of the hospital for three days and had finally,finally, been allowed back in the dog park, as long as he forewent the walk around the soccer field for a whole other week.
Sean had spent his first three days back exhausted, sleeping a lot, and doing exactly what Billy told him to do, which on the one hand had been gratifying but on the other a little bit frightening because their first four weeks together had been nothing but pushback. Neither of them had said a word about the terrifying possibilities of their conversation in the hospital, and part of Billy was a little bit relieved. Nothing to see here, folks. What was it Sean had said? They’d just hit the “I love you, man!” part of their relationship, only they hadn’t needed the beer.
Except that’s not how it felt.
Sean reallyhadstayed in the hospital for two whole days, and Billy had dragged his homework in that first day, after Henry had come back with the takeout, and he’d sat quietly and worked while Sean slept or watched stupid television. That night before he left, Sean had glanced at him, still in the oxygen mask, and pointed to his temple, looking sly.
Billy had almost stalked out of the room, but… but he wanted to kiss the guy. He couldn’t kiss his mouth—not under the oxygen mask—but he could lace their fingers gingerly together, avoiding the IV line altogether, and place a simple kiss on Sean’s forehead.
Sean had smiled at the touch of his lips, murmuring, “Thanks, Guillermo.”
Billy had stared at him for a moment before realizing that of all the things he’d experienced since he’d left home, this right here, kissing Sean Kryzynski on the temple, was the most naked thing he’d ever done.
And he’d done it for the last three nights since Sean had gotten back home. Their days were pretty much the same as they had been—with an extra ration of shit from Billy about Sean getting sick, that is. But at night, Billy would come in, and they’d talk, each conversation getting a little more intimate, a little deeper, and Billy would stand to leave and… just go tuck the guy in.
Like a big brother, or a father, or a lover.
But mostly like that last one.
God, what was Billy doing?
“What are you thinking?” Sean asked, breaking into his thoughts now. “You look like you smelled something bad. Did my pit-stop expire early?”
Billy gave him a droll look. “Yes. It’s killing me. Keep your arms down until the bad guy shows up.”
Sean gave a rusty chuckle. “You know, I used to hate Rivers because he had the mentality of a twelve-year-old boy, but I think I’m starting to remember how fun it was.”
“You’ll never pass,” Billy told him. “You eat too much fruit.”
That chuckle again. Then Sean changed the subject. “No, seriously. You look thoughtful again?”
“I was just wondering,” Billy said, unable tonottell the truth this time, “what your laugh sounds like when your lungs are all functional and shit. ’Cause Ithinkyou might have a really good laugh, but I sort of want to hear it.”
Sean was quiet for a moment, so Billy glanced over at him and found he was smiling in a pleased, embarrassed way, and his cheeks were pink.
“You’re so easy,” he said fondly, and mindful of the people they were going to try to talk to today, he surreptitiously stroked Sean’s fingers with his own.
To his surprise, Sean turned his palm up and laced their fingers together, squeezing once before letting him go.
