Page 48 of Sean's Sunshine
Billy almost turned around and ran back. Only the thought of the man waiting for him—having faith in him—made him keep going.
“Miguel?” he asked hesitantly. His little brother had been eight three years ago on that fateful day when he’d run back to the car for his shin guards. Now, at eleven, Miguel had shot up in height, although he was still not as tall as Billy, and his face had gone from soft and round to angular and almost… hungry.
“What are you doing here?” Billy asked when his little brother gave a tentative smile. Sean lived in Carmichael, which was close to midtown Sacramento. This little park was a good three miles away from the house Billy remembered growing up in. Their usual park had been a ways away.
“We moved,” Miguel said. “Man, shit went crazy after you left. Dad… he, like, lost all control. Put Mom in the hospital. She got a restraining order, and we moved but, you know. She didn’t make all the money, so we’re in a little duplex now. We all had to change schools and stuff. Teresa moved out and got married, so she gives us money, and Berto—I meanRobert—he makes us call him Robert now—he’s got some mysterious job and shit. But what areyoudoing here?”
Billy swallowed. “A friend of mine,” he said. “He got hurt, and I’m helping take care of him. I left him on the far side of the park. I need to go pick him up.” He paused and looked at the other kids loitering near the car—probably to check it out because it was a nice piece, but also looking like disreputable punks at the same time. “You want I should give you a ride home?”
Miguel shook his head. “Naw. Mom gave me the afternoon off from watching the little kids. We got a teacher in-service today.”
“Where’s the duplex again?” Billy asked, not sure he’d use this information but… but God. His home? Without his father? A surge—a terrible surge—of longing for his brothers and sisters shoved its way next to his heart.
Miguel gave him an address, and Billy frowned. He and Sean had spent some time the night before peering at a map of the robberies and the area. He knew that set of duplexes, and they weren’t… savory.
“Yeah, it’s a dump,” Miguel said, reading his expression. “What can I say, Ghee? They shit on you, life shit on us.”
“I’m sorry,” Billy murmured, the clock in the back of his mind driving him out of there. He needed to go get Sean!
Miguel shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, man. That wasn’t your fault.”
Billy nodded, swallowing tightly, all the good feeling from his investigative playtime with Sean evaporating. “Take care, little man,” he said, and to his surprise, his little brother launched himself at him and hugged Billy tightly around the waist like he had as a little kid. Without thinking, Billy wrapped his arms around Miguel’s shoulders, and they hugged hard and desperate before Miguel stepped away, wiping his eyes.
“You gotta go,” he said. Then he turned to his buddies, and they slouched off in that particularly middle-school shuffle.
Billy got into the car without another word and drove away as fast as was safe, trying not to cry.
“SORRY I’Mlate,” he said as Sean opened the door and settled in.
“No worries,” Sean said mildly. “Did you run into Bob?”
Billy shook his head, not sure if he wanted to talk about it. “No, someone else.”
Sean looked at him expectantly, and Billy had the uncomfortable realization that this was the sort of thing you talked to a lover about.
“I, uhm… look. I’m gonna take a detour past Cannonball, okay? I’ll explain while we go.”
“Sure.”
That was it. No questions, no “What the hell?” And Billy became acutely aware of how little he expected that from the important people in his life.
From the men.
Sean’s patient acceptance was such a balm to his soul—it was like diaper rash ointment on a part of his body he hadn’t realized was chafed.
After a few moments of silence, Billy said, “Look, I appreciate your being chill.” He gave Sean a sideways look. “Although I gotta say, when I first got to know you, I didn’t think you couldbethis chill—so thanks.”
He saw Sean’s grimace. “Patience really isn’t my strong suit,” Sean said after a moment. “But last night was really great. I… I could learn some patience if we can keep doing that.”
“Yeah, well, I guess we’re both sons of hotheads,” Billy conceded. “And stubborn old bastards. But your old man never put your mommy in the hospital, and I guess mine did after I got kicked out of the house.”
“And you know this how?” Sean asked, sounding as adrift as Billy felt.
So Billy told him about Miguel and his little band of possible juvenile delinquents, and learning that his mother lived a few blocks away from the park in a not-so-awesome tract of duplexes.
“So we’re going to visit?” Sean asked, like he was making sure.
“No! It’s your nap time, and I’ve got a paper to write.” He was making excuses to himself—he knew it.
