Page 95 of Sean's Sunshine
Billy was absurdly glad he didn’t make an “I didn’t think I wasthatbad!” joke because what they’d just done, it was too big, too important for self-deprecation.
“My heart feels broken and remade,” he said, eyes still closed. “And it’s a little sore, but I think it can hold the both of us still.”
“Yeah?” Sean’s voice shook a little, and Billy turned his head and smiled faintly.
“You make it stronger, cop. You take care of me really good.”
Sean’s smile was slow and warm, like honey. “I do, don’t I.”
Billy heard the pride and had to chuckle a little. “You worried?”
“I’ve been sort of helpless,” Sean admitted. “I… worried a little that… that you wouldn’t love the caretaker as much as you loved the patient.”
Billy searched out his eyes and rubbed his lower lip with a come-stained thumb. “And I worried that you wouldn’t love the mess as much as you loved the bossy porn guy.”
“Weird how we fret about the stupid stuff, isn’t it?” Sean asked gently.
Billy nodded. “I really love you.”
“I really love you too.”
They lay there for a while, talking about everything and nothing. About prepping the house for a dog and changes Billy would make when he got his paycheck. And about synching their schedules when Sean went back to work. And maybe helping Randy get a car so he could be more independent now that Billy was giving up his bed in the flophouse.
Practical things that belied the momentous, magical thing they’d just done.
In the middle of their discussion, Sean’s stomach growled, and Billy smiled. “Go ahead. Let’s get dressed. Let me feed us. If my knees still work, we can go to the dog park, okay?”
Sean had just slid on his briefs and his jeans when the doorbell rang, and Sean hauled a clean shirt and sweatshirt on over his head. “That’s probably Andres,” he said over his shoulder. “Get dressed and join us.”
“Aren’t you going to shower?” Billy asked, because he felt like he smelled like Sean and probably vice versa.
Sean squinted at him. “The only one who’s going to get close enough to smell that we had sex is the guy I had sex with, Guillermo. Get your brain out of the porn studio and get dressed!”
Billy chuckled then and rolled out of bed, found some of the clothes he’d moved into Sean’s dresser, and pulled them on, wondering as he did so how long it would be before they started wearing each other’s shirts.
As he heard Andres’ voice in the front room, he frowned at the dresser and reached into Sean’s drawer to pull out one of his SAPD sweatshirts in white and black. He threw it on with a certain possessiveness that he didn’t question before hustling into the front room.
Loose Ends and Happy Beginnings
ANDRES GREETEDSean in the way of their people—with a box of donuts and two large coffees. They liked theirs with cream and sugar because drinking it black was masochism. It was one of the ways they’d bonded as work partners nearly a year before.
There was nothing weak about not liking your coffee to taste like crap.
“Oh wow,” Sean murmured. “Come in quick. Let me eat a donut before my better-looking half comes out.”
“He’s moderating your diet?” Andres asked. “That’s terrifying.”
“He’s very nutrition conscious,” Sean told him, thinking that was an understatement. “And it’s probably a good thing too. It would have been easy to pack on pounds these last few weeks. Now come sit and let me eat sugar and tell me what’s doing.”
“Well, eat fast, because you need to wait for Billy before I talk. I don’t want to tell the same story twice.”
Sean nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, going to work on the donuts with Andres between gulps of delicious artisan coffee.
Billy emerged right as he was reaching for his second, and seeing him in Sean’s sweatshirt was surprising enough to almost—almost—make him drop the donut.
Andres turned to see what had caught Sean’s attention and smirked.
“Makes a statement, doesn’t he?”
