Page 20 of Karma Kitty Christmas
You could probably kiss him, and he wouldn’t object, taunted a little voice in his head, but Isaac thought of the way they’d met and of the hated brown yarn and how he still couldn’t get himself to wind it into balls and give it to an upcycling place, or repurpose it for charity or… oranything. Nope, it sat there, this tangled mess of anger at Todd, at himself, at his inability to change things before Todd had dropped dead of a brain aneurism because he’d been too goddamned self-sufficient to take his high blood pressure medication.
Yeah. He should probably let go of some of that before he made room for a Luca in his heart.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to still have him in his life, on his porch—hell, in his kitchen, eating his food.
Isaac had complained about the time it took to cook all those super gourmet dinners, and Todd had insisted on buying those gourmet single-serving dinner things from a service six days a week. That way they could have a nutritionally balanced, constantly revolving array of prepared food that Todd didn’t have to worry about.
Isaaclikedworrying about food, but cooking for one was depressing, and the one time he’d tried it, Todd had refused to eveneatwith him, since they were eating different things.
And this casserole—which consisted mainly of chicken, mayonnaise, and pimentos—was one of his favorites. Luca worked so hard all week, and he’d been so worried about hissister. Isaac had looked forward to sending some of it home so neither of them had to cook.
He watched as Luca startled in the front of his truck, yawned, and sat up, glancing around a little wildly before he oriented himself. He swung his eyes to where Isaac stood on his porch and gave a half-embarrassed smile before waving.
“Come on in,” Isaac called.
Luca yawned again as he got out of the truck and tried to talk. He finally managed as he came even with Isaac’s little gate through his front yard. “I was going to—”Yawn. “—try to get some work done.”
Isaac gave him a sympathetic nod. “Your nonna wouldn’t be happy about you getting hurt if you were so tired you slept in your truck. Besides, I’m going to have to leave early tonight, so you might as well get your crocheting in now.”
Luca grimaced, quite apologetic. “My sister stole it,” he muttered, letting himself into the gate.
“Your sisterwhat?” Isaac asked, surprised.
“I was working on it last night, and my sister came in and said, ‘Wait a minute, I’ve seen Nonna do this,’ and the next thing I know, she was making her own scarf. I was going to take it back, but she was working on it during lunch, and it made her happy.” He let out a sigh. “I may have to steal some more of your yarn.”
Isaac shook his head. “I’m telling you,” he said, “this is the weirdest day. But okay. Fine. Bring your sister over tomorrow and we canalldo yarn. It’ll be fun.”
Luca’s grin told him that, against all odds, he reallydidthink that was fun. “You think? I mean, I still wanted to help with the blanket—”
Isaac shook his head. “Listen, you may not know this, but your blanket has helped five more kids pass my class. They’re willing to do math and algebra like you can’tbelieveto figure outhow many squares we need to make for their designs. And wait until you see what their designs are. I will make your sisterallof the blankets if these kids can do this actuallyrelevantextra-credit project and show me they’ve mastered equations.”
Luca’s grin faded, and it was his turn to seem bemused. “That’s amazing. You are, like, thebestteacher.”
Isaac felt himself flushing from the compliment. He tried to remember if Todd had ever told him he was good at his profession.
Isaac, you should learn how to mingle more with your administrators—it’s the only way to work your way up.
Isaac, why aren’t you getting your MA in administration instead of physics? It’s not like any ofthesekids will appreciate those extra letters after your name.
God, Isaac, is this all you wanted to be—a lifer in a shitty high school?
“What?” Luca asked. “What’d I say?”
Isaac shook his head and let out a sigh. “You paid me a great compliment,” he said, “about something I’m super proud of. I…. Roxy’s the only one who ever tells me I’m good at my job.” Roxy wasamazingat teaching. Isaac always thought that getting the kids to connect with math was, like, her superpower. She once got an entire class to understand vectors by talking about a stroller rolling downhill and into the street, because that was her worst nightmare.
Luca swallowed. “What you’re not saying,” he observed cannily, “is that Todd probably thought it was no big deal.”
Isaac let out a sigh. “We’re not going to talk about Todd right now,” he said, and then he pulled that happy bemusement he’d been feeling back around him like a comfy Mr. Rogers cardigan. “We’re going to talk about why I have to leave right after dinner, becausesomebodyhas to hear this story besides Roxy.”
“Let me wash up,” Luca said, toeing off his work boots in front of Isaac’s porch. Isaac thought of putting stuff there—one of those things with scrub brushes so Luca could get dust off the soles, and one of those wedges that helped people remove boots with leverage. He could tuck it right next to the porch swing so Luca would always feel…
Welcome.
Isaac regarded him yearningly as he stepped aside to let Luca in.
Please, let Luca feel welcome here in his big bland stupid house until Isaac got his shit together enough to ask for more.
Isaac hadn’t kissed anybody in so, so long. He’d really love to explore that plush, smiling mouth. Maybe kissing had gotten better since he and Todd had gotten married. Todd hadn’t been great at it—he seemed to treat it as an alpha male contest, and Isaac had never been great at those. He’d never gotten the point. He was five seven and slender. Why would he want to mash teeth together to prove he was strong? If he’d been that strong, he probably wouldn’t have let Todd bully him into bed for most of his adult life.
