Page 85 of Zalis
For reasons that confused her but would make sense in retrospect, her heart raced. She took a breath to steady herself. “It’s been a lot. All this. I’ve had nightmares. I just… I should talk to someone.”
The doctor was silent. He was going to tell her no or recommend some bullshit meditation and herbal teas. He hadn’t wanted to take the translation chip out; he certainly wouldn’t do this. Gemma just knew it.
He said, “There is no one currently on board with the necessary qualifications. If you are amenable, we can arrange for virtual sessions with a licensed therapist. A Sangrin-based provider will have a better real-time connection, which would be a more satisfactory experience. If you prefer a human, you should be aware that the connection will lag and that can be counterproductive for therapeutic purposes.”
“A Sangrin therapist can deal with… my issues?” Inexplicably, she found herself reluctant to say the words.
“We will find a suitable provider. I will review a list of candidates with you tomorrow. Is that acceptable?”
“Yes. Great,” she said, surprised. “That’s it? That was so easy.”
“Did you think that I would deny your treatment because I could not provide it?”
“Actually, yes,” she admitted. “Sorry. That’s a shitty thing to say.”
“My bedside manner is known to be abrasive,” he said.
“No arguments here,” she replied. Their entire conversation had been far more pleasant than her first visit. Maybe Nurse Daisy was right, and he had been cranky from staying up with the new baby.
“My patients are larger than me, stronger than me, in pain, and obstinate. I often forget myself when speaking with females, human or otherwise.” He paused, as if considering his nextwords. “Humans have an amazing capacity for survival, which is astounding when you consider that your bones are made of spun sugar.”
And there he was, back to classic rude doctor.
Kalen wasn’t done yet. “No claws. No fangs. No scales. No protective features at all. What you do have is adaptability and an extraordinary brain.”
“Thanks, I think,” she said.
“When it comes to survival, the human brain is on alert for danger and puts the body in a state to fight or flee. It can escalate in a matter of seconds, releasing hormones and priming the body to escape the situation.”
“Or fight.” She remembered reading anecdotes about parents gaining the strength to lift a car off an injured child. Adrenaline and stress worked wonders.
“Where the human brain disappoints,” Kalen said, “is deescalating. Believing that you are safe. An unexpected noise, lights, memory, or another association can trigger this response.”
The collapse in the tunnel hadn’t been anything like her time in the cage.
Except for being trapped.
Gemma nodded her head. Yeah, that might do it.
“You have survived an extraordinarily stressful event. Your brain is having difficulty believing that you are safe. There is no shame in seeking help. The only shame is that I failed to notice you were struggling.”
“Thank you, but I wasn’t ready for therapy then,” she said. Emry had suggested it. Even Mercy on the day of the tour had casually dropped hints about being there if Gemma needed to talk.
Having Kalen tell her that her stress, her trauma, the nightmares, the feeling of dread that wouldn’t go away was just the way her brain was wired was surprisingly comforting. All systems were working as intended. She wasn’t broken. They didn’t break her.
“What do the Mahdfel do for stress?” she asked.
Kalen now glanced at Zalis. “We are built differently. Keeping calm and finding our focus is emphasized. We have meditation and breathing exercises. Zalis is capable of teaching you, if you wish.” With an order to rest, he left the room.
The sounds of Medical drifted in: beeping equipment, conversations in the corridor, and the rattle of a cart. For being in a private room, it was surprisingly loud. The walls must have been made of paper. She didn’t know if sleep was possible.
Gemma leaned back into the pillows. “Did you hear that? You’re capable.”
ZALIS
“Such praise,” he replied.
“Was that sarcasm?”
