Page 5 of Pulled By the Tail
“Sunshine, I don’t know how you expect me to be excited when you look likethat.” His gaze swept her from head to toe and from the sour look, he found her lacking.
Georgia blushed. She knew she wasn’t a supermodel, but he had to have found her somewhat attractive. They hadn’t had sex in months, even before the breakup, but she had been ill. Between the near-constant bleeding, the fatigue, and the stomach cramps, she hadn’t felt sexy in a long time.
“Oh shit. That happened? Sorry! I’m not listening,” Freema said, slamming two pillows on either side of her head.
Yeah, that happened. She had his pecker in her mouth, giving it her all, and he fell asleep. He wasn’t drunk or anything; he just wasn’t interested.
Georgia saw the entirety of their relationship. She had predictable sex with her boring boyfriend. They had a boring, predictable life where the most exciting thing was a new bagel place opening on the corner. That life was as gray and bland as the color scheme in their apartment. She deserved better. They both did.
Kevin actually did them a favor. Huh.
“Have you been to the apartment yet?” Georgia tried to ask casually and not darting her eyes side to side like a guilty person. Freema coughed dramatically. Yeah, not such a smart question.
“Why?”
“No reason. I got my stuff and left my key.” True enough and not a complete lie.
A figure appeared behind Kevin, holding two pizza boxes.
“Look, we’re in the middle of stuff here. I appreciate you dropping off my last paycheck.” Georgia snagged the envelope while the pizza guy distracted Kevin, then signed for the delivery. “Thanks! Have a good life,” she sang in a far-too-chipper voice, slamming the door shut.
Abruptly, she opened the door again on Kevin, who had not moved. She shouted, “Florida is the sunshine state. Georgia is peaches!” Another slam, this one final. She’d never see Kevin again, God willing. “Fucker,” she muttered.
“He’s the worst,” Freema said, opening the box and helping herself to a slice of barbequed chicken. “We totally need to find you a rebound guy.”
“I don’t want a rebound guy.” She wanted pizza and maybe more whiskey. Her needs were simple.
“You do. Everyone does. It’s like dating law.”
“Oh, well if everyone does it,” she said, adding extra sarcasm to her voice. The sarcasm must not have been obvious because Freema jumped up from the sofa and raced to her tablet computer.
“Let’s sign you up for a dating app,” Freema said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Pfft. It’s the best idea we’ve ever had. Oh, Celestial Mates. Find your perfect match. Look at the hot guy.” Freema shoved the screen in Georgia’s face. The blue-skinned Fremmian model had no shirt, appeared to be covered in glistening baby oil, and flexed his biceps for the camera.
“Um, he’s blue. Is this an alien hookup app?”
“Don’t be narrow-minded. Blue guys need loving, too. Besides, that’s just the sugar to lure you in. The profiles are totally average.”
Georgia grabbed the tablet and scrolled through the sample profiles. “They’re all aliens. Thisisan alien hookup app.”
Freema snatched the device back. “Don’t be such a xenophobe. Have you ever dated an alien guy?”
“I’m not a xenophobe,” she protested. She hadn’t dated anyone of extraterrestrial origins but not because she wouldn’t; she just hadn’t been asked out. “You know Kevin was my only boyfriend.”
Freema stuck her tongue out and made a completely mature retching noise. “Such a waste. We have to get you out there and getting some. How about this guy?” turning the tablet to face Georgia, a golden-skinned male with four arms filled the screen.
“A Gyer? I don’t know.”
“What’s wrong with a Gyer? They’re hot. All those hands. Yum.”
“They’re not, you know, binary.” The Gyer did not have distinct male or female genders. They were equally capable of becoming pregnant and also impregnating a partner. Maybe. The details were fuzzy.
Georgia really should have paid attention in her Comparative Biology course in college, otherwise known as Alien Banging 101. The class in a nutshell: humans like to fuck, have fucked every alien they’ve encountered, and can have babies with most of those aliens. Basically, humans were slutty when it came to aliens.
“Do you think they’re, umm, compatible?” Georgia asked.
