Page 45 of Splintered Shadow
He tilted his head at an extreme angle to look at her hand, still resting on his chest. His gaze was inhuman. It should have struck terror in her heart. Instead, the warmth of desire bloomed inside her.
“I want this. I want you. All those things you said. I want that,” she said.
“To be my mate, in my bed, fucked until you can’t remember your name and my seed spills out of you.” His words were a challenge, even as they made her ache.
“Being crass won’t scare me away, Prince Vekele,” she said, stepping closer to him.
She knew him. He read to her the previous night until his voice went hoarse. He carried her to bed when she fell asleep in the library. He was thoughtful and, if not patient or polite, then good. He was a good man.
“There are things you should know about me,” she said, since they were airing the dirty laundry. “I told you I was engaged to Robert.”
“Your lost mate,” he said, not sounding pleased. The black faded, and Vekele’s expression returned to a guarded, neutral state.
“I love—loved—Robert with my whole heart. I told you about the brain aneurysm. I planned on spending my life with him and then one day he was gone.” Her breath hitched in her throat. It was so strange explaining the man she had loved to the man she currently drooled over. She didn’t feel as if she betrayed Rob by finding someone new. He’d want that. She worried that talking about Rob cheapened her feelings for Vekele, like it was a competition Vekele could never win.
It wasn’t a competition. She had room enough in her heart to hold both. Rob would always be her past, but Vekele could be her future.
She smiled at him with watery eyes. He stepped to the side to better see her and tilted his head. All his hair flopped forward, covering his cloudy front eyes. His warm hand cradled the side of her face. Gently, he brushed away her tears.
Vekele wasn’t a consolation prize. He was amazing.
“I was hurt and depressed and angry and sad,” she said.
“That is a lot for one person to contain.”
“I know. It was too much and everyone was so damn sympathetic andniceto me. It was gross. So I ran away. Metaphorically. Well, literally. I moved, got a new job, and hardly ever saw any of my old friends. I avoided anything that reminded me of… that reminded me. There was no color or life. It was just existing. That’s no way to live.” Her words spilled out in a jumble. There was a point to this rambling. There was. “So now I’m here and it’s weird and scary, but also amazing. I feel like myself again. I know I’m going to carry this grief around with me for the rest of my life, and I’ll always love Rob, but I’m not frozen anymore.
“And I like you. I said that before, but it’s true. I like the way you pretend you’re not super competitive when we play that game. I like it when you stay with me because I had a nightmare. I like you.”
She paused, suddenly uncertain about Vekele’s response. She barfed up her feelings and he looked properly horrified. “So, yeah. Since you shared your murder family with me, I thought you should know.”
He watched her, saying nothing.
Typical.
“I won’t apologize for having a life before you,” she said. “You dragged out the literal skeletons from your family closet, and I’m cool with it. You can’t pick your family.”
“That is the moral lesson of my family history?” Amusement twisted through the bastard’s voice.
“No, the lesson is that we’ve all got baggage. And I like you. I like you more than your murder family scares me.” They should have scared her, the reasonable part of her brain told her, but gut instinct and self-preservation seemed to have the day off.
“Perhaps you are blinded by the opulence of royalty,” he said.
“You chained me to a bed in a dusty room in a falling-down palace. That’s not as enticing as you think it is.”
His lips twitched. The jerk was enjoying her awkward confession of feelings.
“I found it enticing,” he said, his voice a low purr. “I like you too, Sarah.”
“Good,” she said. Heat rose in her cheeks. Why was she blushing, and what should she do with her hands? Had they always been so weird and just there on the ends of her arms? She balled them into fists and stuck them behind her back.
“Good,” he repeated. “But I will not take you as my mate because you think you have no other options.”
Disappointment? Hello, again. Haven’t seen you in a while.
Her eyes focused on the floor. It was easier to pretend she wasn’t about to cry again if she didn’t have to look at him.
“Be my mate because you want me,” he said.
