Page 15 of Hello Handsome
I frowned, using extra force to get the post in the rest of the way. “Did you miss the part where I was thinking of Maya the whole damn time?”
“Isn’t that normal?” He tugged his glove back on and then drove the Polaris a dozen feet farther.
“Normal?”
He shrugged, hopping out and grabbing the post driver and a straight post. “Maya’s your only frame of reference for a realrelationship. Your brain’s reaching for the file cabinets on what to do.” He lined up the post and started pounding it down. Over the clink of metal and his breathing, I thought that over.
What if he was right? This wasn’t a sign of something wrong. Just a normal part of being out of the game. Not that I wanted to date like I used to when I was sowing my wild oats. I didn’t have the energy or desire for that anymore.
Jack got back in, and I drove us to the next spot, switching off. “But what if Maya stays on my mind?”
He glanced over at me from the passenger seat. “You want her out of your mind?”
I frowned. Not really, if I was being honest. I wanted to remember it all. Even the hard parts. Because that’s all I had left of her. My memories.
Aggie was stronger than me–deciding to be single for the safety of her children. I hadn’t so much decided as I’d turned away from dating and relationships. There were a million excuses but only one conviction. Maya had my heart, even in the grave, and I didn’t want to suffer that kind of pain again. “I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted, going to get the next post.
When I finished driving the post, Jack said, “You didn’t know how to use a toilet when you were a baby, but I don’t see you walking around in a shitty diaper.” A smirk crossed his face. “Yet.”
I got in and shoved his shoulder. “You’re the same age as me, dumbass.”
“Oh, I forgot.” He stifled a laugh. “Guess that’s my old age.”
I rolled my eyes, but a smile tugged at my lips, too. This was just what I needed. Time with a friend who reminded me not to take everything so damn seriously and that even though I had lived a lot of life, I still had room to learn.
The next week,I walked into the diner for a late lunch. I liked going in when things were slow. Sure, I didn’t have to wait as long for my food. But I was coming around to admitting–at least to myself–that I liked not having to share Aggie with the other diners.
When I walked through the heavy swinging door and the bell sounded overhead, she looked up from wiping the counters, and when she recognized me, a smile spread on her lips, crinkling her pretty brown eyes.
My heart nearly stalled at the sight, taken aback by that smile mixed with her luscious curves. By my reaction to her.
Nervous energy fizzed through me, but I reminded myself this was all new. Of course I’d get jitters just like I was young again. I took a breath, sending her a tentative smile back and continued over the black-and-white tile floor.
All the chairs along the counter had regulars’ names painted on the back. Most of them gone now. But my name should have been on this one for as often as I was here.
“Hey, Ags,” I said as she put the rag away. I noticed her body as she bent over, and my heart stopped all over again.
It was like the floodgates were open now that I’d given myself permission to really notice her. And I wondered how I’d been able to close off that part of myself for so long.
“Good to see you.” She turned to pass me a glass of iced tea. When she handed it to me, our fingers met. A jolt of energy went up my arm. Anddamn.
How was I supposed to get through the day when just managing my feelings near her was like fielding a lightning storm?
I took a sip to cool my nerves and then asked how her son was doing at basic training. Her children were her favorite subject, so it was easy to talk about Enzo. She said they were allowed to send letters, and he was actually writing her back.
“Having raised five boys, that’s a miracle,” I said. “You must have done something right.”
She laughed. “You should see his grammar.”
That made me chuckle. “Take a win where you can get one; that’s my strategy.”
Leaning up against the counter behind the bar, she bit her bottom lip. So damn distracting. “Should we call horseback riding a win?”
I could feel her eyes reading me like not many other people could. And I didn’t want to make the wrong move. Measuring out my words, I said, “I’d say so. I’m not a gambling man, but want to try double or nothing?”
There was that crinkle to her eyes again. Her intoxicating smile. “What did you have in mind?”
It had been so long since I’d dated, so my mind pulled up the filing cabinets from way back when. All blank. “Let’s make it a surprise,” I suggested, instantly worried that sounded lame.
