Page 64 of Hello Handsome
“How did you know it was time for you to settle down? Weren’t you wild back in the day?” Hayes asked.
My heart swelled. Had Hayes found a woman? The thought had a smile on my face as I replied, “You’re asking the wrong question.”
Hayes raised his eyebrows. “I am?”
I nodded, rocking in tandem with the horse as we reached the trail again. “You should be asking ‘When did you stop fighting the fear of settling down?’”
“What do you mean?” Hayes asked. He seemed completely confused.
I shifted the leather reins to my other hand and let out a breath. “When I met your mom, something in me knew she was the one. But there was another part of me that thought, ‘You’re too young, it isn’t the time...’ all that bullshit. I was thinking of what I’d have to give up to be with her, not what I’d gain byhaving her in my life.” Regret hit me all over again at the time I missed with Maya. But I realized I’d made the same mistake with Aggie.
I knew, deep down, I loved Aggie long before I tried dating her the first time. But the excuses had been there on the tip of my tongue with her, too.Damn, when would I learn?
We rode in silence for a moment, back toward the house, and then I asked, “Is there a woman?”
A few paces of our horses' hooves marked the time passing before he said, “I don’t know. She’s always been around, but it’s like I’m having a harder and harder time remembering why I should stay away. I’ve never felt like this about her before.”
“What changed?” I asked, wondering who this mystery woman was.
We crested another hill, suddenly giving us a view of the horizon. We could see the house, along with dozens of pairs from here, illuminated by the golden morning sunlight.
“It’s like coming over this hill,” Hayes said, gesturing in front of us. “The cattle were here the whole time, but I couldn’t see them until we got to the top.”
I nodded slowly, realizing Hayes may be the most like me out of all my sons. “You know, just because you noticed her doesn’t mean you have to do anything.” Maybe I was pushing him too much because of my own regrets. But Dr. Benson had reminded me the week before that I needed to stop holding on to regrets so much and look on the bright side like Aggie always did.
Hayes seemed surprised. “What do you mean?
I layered my hands atop the saddle horn, letting Blister pause to graze on a tuft of grass. “Even though I wish I could have come to my senses sooner and been with your mom, I wasn’t ready for her yet. I needed to grow into the man she deserved. If I would have jumped into that relationship before I was ready, it would have done us both a disservice.” Deep down, it felt true as I saidit. A small wave of peace washed over me, and that pain of the past floated away on the cold spring wind.
But Hayes wasn’t at peace. There was a fearful look in his eyes. “What if Mom had moved on before you were ready to be with her?” he asked me.
My gut twisted thinking of Aggie with this other man. The hard truth was that sometimes, it really was too late. “The thing about wonderful women is that other people can also see how wonderful they are.”
39
AGGIE
I loved workingat Woody’s Diner the day of the spring festival. People from all over came to Cottonwood Falls for the celebration, which meant the diner was packed with guests from open to close and tips were always good.
This year, I would save my tips from this day for a trip to visit Enzo in Hawaii. I promised myself I’d get there. Three years was too long to go without seeing my baby. Talking on the phone just wasn’t the same.
Just like I expected, from the time I clocked in to when we flipped the “closed” sign on the front door, there was hardly a chance to catch my breath, much less take a break. All the stocked items in the diner were out, and the back room was a mess in our hurry to grab supplies.
With the diner officially closed, I turned to look at the chef and cashier, who looked just as harried as I felt. “We did it,” I said with a tired smile.
Owen’s son tiredly rubbed his eyes. “Did we?” he muttered. The cook dropped his spatula on the skillet. “I’m getting a smoke before I clean this up.”
Max said, “I’m coming too.”
I didn’t smoke, so I went to sit in a booth, kicking off my shoes and propping my aching feet on the seat across from me. The front door rang as they walked outside, and I dropped my head back, resting it on the booth.
Thank gosh another waitress was opening the diner tomorrow. I was going to sleep in as long as my body would let me. Even though Etta swore forty was the new thirty, being on my feet all day was taking more of a toll on my body than it used to.
“Care if I join you?” a low voice rumbled.
My eyes snapped open, and I stared at Gray standing near me. He looked too damn good in dark-wash Wranglers and a light-blue button-down that brought out all the hues in his eyes. There were little dark spots, suggesting he got caught outside in the unexpected rainstorm.
“Don’t get up. I know you’re closed—I won’t order anything,” he said. “I was just driving by and saw your car. Thought I’d say hi.”
