Page 8 of Songs and Spun Gold
Reaching past Katy to grab a handful of carrots, Babette chortled, “If you weren’t so busy pining over that noble, you would have seen it, too.”
“Noble?” Katy said, trying to sound innocent despite the heat spreading across her face. “Which noble?”
“Yes, we getsomany of them in these parts. As if you don’t know who we’re talking about,” Angelika muttered. She waved her small fan, trying to find some relief from the heavy humidity. The dark clouds hung low, threatening rain, but the air was depressingly still, not even the lightest breeze stirring to cool them.
Katy negotiated with the stall-keeper for her purchases, then stepped back to let Babette do the same. “Where should we go next?”
“There aren’t many stalls today,” Angelika commented, glancing lazily up and down the main street. As the daughter of a merchant, she had more free time and disposable income than Katy. “Unless you have somewhere to be, let’s visit them all.”
“You aren’t looking for something specific?”
Flipping her fan closed and open a few times, she shook her head. “Not today.”
They resumed their stroll through the market when Babette joined them after completing her purchase. The savory aroma of roasted lamb drifted down the road, making Katy’s mouth water, but she didn’t have money for snacks.
“So, back to that noble,” Babette drawled, tapping a finger against her chin in pretended thought. “What was his name again?”
Katy said nothing, her eyes straight ahead as her teeth ground together. Her friend was baiting her, and she wasn’t going to fall for it.
“Don’tyouremember, Katy?” Angelika asked. Her voice was falsely innocent. “I thought if anyone did, it would be you. After all, you weresuchgood friends.”
They knew she didn’t remember. They’d had some variation of this same conversation many times over the last five years. Her friends thought it was absurd that she struggled to give up on someone whose very name escaped her.
Perhaps it was, but it ate at her, the fact that as soon as he was gone, so were his name and face. Sheshouldbe able to remember.
Her fuzzy memories slid away from her. Why couldn’t sheremember?
“I said yes, all right?” she exploded, pulling her fingers away from her bracelet. “I walked with Fritz. I told him to ask me again next week. Are you happy?”
Her friends both stopped and stared at her. “You actually did?” Babette asked, her eyes wide.
Angelika studied her. “Shouldn’tyoube happy?”
“Shouldn’t you?” Katy retorted, whipping around to face her friend. “Or are you going to tell me that you’re happy to just sit back and let your father finish arranging a marriage for you with his friend’s son, whether you like him or not?”
Angelika jerked back as if slapped. But Katy wasn’t finished. “Or do you think I should be giggling and blushing every time a man smiles at me, like Louise?” She flung a hand in the direction of their other friend. “Or that I should jump to marry the first man who asks me to walk with him, like Babette did?”
Ignoring the way Babette’s eyes began to glisten with tears, Katy raged on. “Or should I admit that I was a fool for wanting something I knew I could never have? For longing for someone that I knew would never want me, even if my fatherwasn’ta worthless drunk?”
By now, most of the eyes in the market were on her, butKaty didn’t notice. Her throat tightened, her breaths faster than normal. “Excuse me for struggling to move on! But at least I’m trying.”
The expressions on her friends’ faces and the quieter-than-normal atmosphere of the market edged into her awareness as her burst of anger faded. Mashing her lips together, she dropped her head and exhaled, frustrated with herself. Pasting on a tight smile, she gave a wave to the market in general and ignored the flush rising in her cheeks. “Sorry,” she called out. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.”
As the market patrons returned to their business, Katy turned back to her friends. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, pouring all her penitence into her expression. “You know I didn’t mean it.”
“One of your blowups in public? That’s a first for me. I can’t say I look forward to the next one,” Angelika said coolly, crossing her arms over her chest. Babette wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Babette?” Katy tried. “I know you hoped Emil would ask you to walk long before he did. You didn’t accept him because he was the first.”
“Tell that to them,” her friend sniffed, nodding in the direction of the crowds. She kept her focus off to the side. “They’re the ones you slandered me to.”
Katy could feel her ire rising again. “Would you like me to yell it out to them, then?” she snapped, waving her arm as her eyes flashed.
“Maybe we should just get you out of here,” Angelika sighed. Grabbing Katy’s elbow, she began steering her past the remaining stalls. Babette didn’t follow.
“She’ll get over it,” Angelika said when she caught Katy twisting to look over her shoulder. “It’s a small village; nothing you said was news.” Grimacing, she continued, “Most peoplejust have enough discretion to keep their mouths shut.”
Katy winced. “I usually do.”
