Page 10 of Crumbling Truth
At the time, that was the last thing I’d needed. Now? I wasn’t so sure.
My gaze settled on the windows at the side of the room. It was a gray November day, dreary and depressing. At that point, it suited my mood perfectly.
Why had I let Theo get to me? For a while, I’d done so well, deflecting his comments, rolling with the punches. Then he’d gone from smiling at me like he’d never met anyone so delightful to looking like I’d just drop-kicked Toni into traffic. It was enough to send me reeling off balance, and I hadn’t managed to regain my equilibrium yet.
Steve’s colossal mood swings had left scars on my psyche. They might have faded, but they weren’t gone.
The temptation to talk to him, to actuallyconnectwith someone for the first time in so long, had been overwhelming. And he seemed like he needed that connection just as badly, but then he shut down.
I’d always considered myself immune to charm, at least since the first time Steve’s practiced smile melted into red-faced rage. Theo’s handsome features were a point against him, really, but he was rugged where Steve had been slick, good-natured and self-deprecating instead of smooth. The honesty in his words, even if he was prone to putting his foot in his mouth, struck a chord deep inside me.
It was disconcerting in the extreme. With nothing else to distract me from thinking about my dinner with Theo, I did something I hadn’t done in years.
I called my friend Sofia.
She answered before the end of the first ring. “Esther! How’s it going?”
“Hey, Sof. Things are good, how have you been?”
One of my favorite things about her was that she never hesitated to take the lead. No matter how awkward I was, she could carry a conversation forward at dizzying speeds. Instead of making me feel worse, it somehow served to bolster me until I was ready to contribute something of value.
As soon as she paused for a breath, I said, “Do you want to get coffee sometime?”
“Are you kidding? Of course I do! I’m free tomorrow morning, if you can do early? I took the morning off for a doctor’s appointment at eleven.”
“Yeah, early works. Eight? Nine?”
“Nine, Cafe Aroma?”
I grinned, remembering all our college study sessions at the little coffee shop on Main Street. “Yes, that’s perfect.”
“Good. I’m so glad you called,” she said softly.
My heart constricted in my chest. “Me too.”
“I have to run, Chase is making dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When I ended the call, some of the nerves had settled, but I still felt like I’d stuck my finger in an electrical outlet.
In the morning, as I got ready to meet up with Sofia, I studied my reflection for several long moments, trying to remember the last time I’d gone out with a friend. Looking back, it was easy to see how Steve had isolated me, but even after his death, I’d made excuses, kept to myself. Anita hadn’t allowed me to retreat completely into my own little world, but I had tried.
Oh, how I tried.
Sofia was already seated at a little table in the corner of the cafe when I arrived. While I wasn’t much of a hugger, she pulled me immediately into an embrace tight enough to force the air from my lungs.
“God, you look amazing, honey! It’s been too long,” she gushed.
Shockingly, it felt as natural as breathing to simply fall back into my friendship with Sofia. We’d bonded during freshman year of college, long before Steve came into my life, and Sofia had been my closest friend. One of my biggest regrets was letting the bastard drive a wedge between us.
It took approximately three minutes before she asked, “So, have you met Theo yet?”
I wrinkled my nose. “I have, yes.”
“And? God, isn’t he just gorgeous? Ollie would’ve skinned me alive if I ever said anything, but I had the biggest crush on him when we were kids. I’m telling you, when he came to the wedding, I was sorely tempted to call it off and beg him to take Chase’s place,” Sofia said, propping her chin on her hand and gazing dreamily into the distance.
At that, I fought back a flinch—I’d missed the wedding because Steve had planned an important dinner for investors that night, probably just so he could keep me from being Sofia’s maid of honor.
It still hurt to think of everything else I had missed.
