Page 31 of Crumbling Truth
Except…maybe they weren’t as dangerous as I’d thought.
Sofia’s suggestion of a torrid love affair took root in my mind. God knew I’d had my fill of long-term relationships already. Maybe something temporary—and scorching hot, if the dream was any indication—was just what I needed.
We were both consenting adults, weren’t we? Granted, he might not want a fling while he was here in town, but if he did, what was stopping us? How better to convince the town that we were together than to actually enjoy the fruits of our labors?
Of course, that was assuming he was interested in such an arrangement. I thought he might be, but I admittedly didn’t know him all that well.
I put the cheesecake in the fridge to set and took a long, hot shower as I debated how to broach the subject with Theo. Should I devise a plan? Speak from the heart? Wait for him to take the lead?
“No,” I told myself firmly as I rinsed the conditioner from my hair. “You are not going down that road again. If you want something, you’re going to trust yourself and ask for it.”
Nowthatspurred a number of even more X-rated images in my mind. I was just going to blame my non-existent sex life for these lapses.
I braided my hair to get it off my neck, pulled on jeans and a kitten-soft gray sweater, and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were still rosy from the heat of the shower, but I looked good, I thought. Steve had always pressured me into dresses and makeup and expensive jewelry when he was entertaining investors or colleagues. After his death, I’d donatedevery stitch of clothing Steve had liked, pawned every piece of jewelry, and turned to clothes that mademehappy.
The way Theo looked at each new outfit, even the most casual of them, stirred a ball of warmth deep in my belly.
With a fortifying breath, I peeked out the front window to be sure Theo’s truck was still in the driveway, then pulled on my boots and grabbed the cheesecake from the fridge. I tucked a stray wisp of hair behind my ear and summoned every ounce of courage I possessed.
When I opened the door, a cellophane-wrapped bouquet of snow white lilies sat on my front step. I blinked down at it, wondering who on earth would deliver flowers without ringing the bell.
Maybe Theo, too, wanted to make amends for how things had gone last night?
I stooped down to grab them, grimaced as their cloying perfume hit my nose, and hurried back into the kitchen to set them on the countertop. The last person to give me flowers was Steve, and that had been during the whirlwind courtship when he was still striving to convince me I’d never find anyone who loved me like he did.
It took a long time for me to recognize that for the lie it was.
There was no note attached to the bouquet, and the longer I stood there, the more unbearable the aroma became. “Sorry,” I muttered aloud to the flowers as I came to a decision and stuck them into the back hall where I wouldn’t be able to smell them.
If Theo was the sender, I’d find a way to gently tell him flowers were not really my thing, and hopefully he wouldn’t be offended.
In the meantime, I had dessert to deliver.
“You can do this,” I told myself one last time, though my heart hammered so hard I was afraid I might pass out before I even reached his door.
I’d survived things far worse than apologizing to a kind man who I also happened to find devastatingly handsome, hadn’t I? And if I managed to gather my wits and proposition him, the worst he could say was no. I wouldn’t be irreparably harmed, even if it might be embarrassing as hell.
Embarrassment be damned. It was time to be honest about what I wanted.
Chapter Thirteen
Theo
Puttingmyfootinmy mouth was not a new phenomenon for me. I’d experienced plenty of awkward moments over it, but never before had I been so terrified that I might’ve permanently ruined something beautiful. I spent the night tossing and turning, wishing I’d managed to stop myself before bringing up her asshole husband.
By morning, I’d resolved to apologize again and pray she’d forgive me. I decided to wait until after lunch, hoping that giving her time would help my case, but I picked up my phone half a dozen times to text her before tossing it aside when I thought better of it.
Just before I set it down again, the phone rang, startling me out of my skin.
The hope that it was Esther died as I saw my mother’s picture on the screen. “Hey, Mom,” I said as I answered the call, rubbing my forehead with my other hand.
“Hi honey, just checking in. How’s everything going?”
“I haven’t destroyed the house or thrown any keggers yet, but there’s still time. How are you and Dad? How’s Nana doing?” I asked.
“Oh, we’re fine. Everyone’s enjoying the sunshine. Nana starts PT tomorrow. How are you and Toni getting along?”
“Just fine. She says she misses you—no, wait, I misinterpreted. She says she’s going to kill me in my sleep.”
