Page 59 of Crumbling Truth
Julian slanted a look in Oliver’s direction. “Stop nagging him, Ollie.”
My oldest friend in the world stared straight into my eyes. “I love you, man, but you’re playing with fire here. Are you sure you’re going to be able to walk away from her?”
“I don’t know,” I said quietly, wishing I could reassure both of us here and now. “Everything feels different.”
“Serious, you mean?”
“Serious, life-changing, fulfilling in a way I’ve never experienced. What the hell am I going to do?” I asked him.
Oliver smirked before responding. “You’ve got a few weeks left to figure that out, man, and you know we’ll help in any way we can. I just don’t want you getting burned. Or Esther, for that matter. She’s been through a lot.”
“I know. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Then don’t,” Oliver replied, shrugging like it was that simple.
“Ollie, I don’t do—”
He cut in. “Relationships? Commitment? Love?”
“Yes,” I ground out.
“Remind me why that is?” He propped his chin on his hand, staring at me like he had all the time in the world to psychoanalyze my love life.
“Bad shit happens when I get too involved, Oliver.”
He shook his head firmly, but his expression shifted to something dangerously close to pity. “Bad shit happened one time, man. It had nothing to do with your feelings for her or lack thereof, and everything to do with a single moment leading to an accident. Even that was not on you, Theo.”
He was wrong. If I’d ended that relationship when I realized my feelings had fizzled, Michelle wouldn’t have been there that night at all.
She definitely wouldn’t have been arranging some secret lovers’ rendezvous for us.
I closed my eyes for a second and turned my thoughts away from that night, away from the lesson I’d learned, and focused on the present.
“Esther’s whole world caved in on her,” I said quietly, “even before that bastard died. How do I make sure she’s okay when I leave? Fuck, I hate the thought of never seeing her again.”
None of us could answer that, but after a moment of silence, Julian spoke up. “Is there any chance of you changing your mind about leaving Spruce Hill in the rearview mirror?”
“I…don’t know. A week ago, I would’ve said absolutely not. Now? I don’t know.”
Oliver studied me for a beat, then said, “It was a long time ago, you know. Nobody blamed you.”
“I know at least one person who blamed me,” I replied, my voice low.
“Man, that is definitely not true. Not for the accident, anyway.”
“Just for everything that followed. Look, it doesn’t matter. I have a life, a business, and none of it is here. Esther has all those things too, firmly planted in Spruce Hill.”
“Have you talked to her to see if she’d consider leaving?” Ollie asked gently.
“No. Even if it lasted past the next month, I’m not asking her to follow me back home, to start all fucking over again, when we all know I’m not capable of offering anything long-term. She built this life for herself out of the ashes. I’m not messing that up for her.”
Julian set his hand on Ollie’s knee, shaking his head slightly when Oliver opened his mouth to reply, and said, “We’re here for you, no matter what. You have another month left, right? Just promise Ollie that you’ll be open to seeing where life leads, and I’ll keep him from nagging you.”
I snorted a laugh. “Deal.”
Conversation turned to other mutual friends and classmates, but they knew I was anxious to get home and finally shooed me out the door when I declined the offer of dessert. After I shrugged on my coat, Ollie reached out and set both hands on my shoulders.
“It’s great to have you back, man, even if it’s temporary.”
