Page 79 of Crumbling Truth
“I’m fine,” I replied, swiping at my eyes one last time. “I’d love to meet them.”
Alex took a step back as I put the window up and opened the car door. I recognized Isabelle and her son from the photo card, but she was even more breathtakingly beautiful in real life. The three of them were simply glowing with happiness, and I let that glow seep into the dark edges of my own sorrow, temporarily pushing back the pain.
After a brief chat, owing to both the cold and someone’s impending nap time, all three of them embraced me, even Dominic. I tried not to wish Alex was his brother when he gave me a quick hug, but then he murmured in my ear, “Please talk to him.”
I looked at him in surprise. “You’re the last person I thought would become his champion.”
“We talked this morning. He has a good heart, and he’s got some things to tell you. And yes, he does stupid shit when he’s scared. I always thought he was fearless, you know?”
“Fearless,” I repeated, still startled to hear that the two of them had spoken.
Alex smiled gently. “Turns out the risk of losing some things is scary enough to make us all into idiots. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t believe that everyone deserves a second chance, Esther.”
With that, he squeezed my shoulder and jogged over to his little family. I watched as he swung Dominic up in the air, then bundled the little boy into his carseat. Some of the emptiness crept back into my body, so I turned away, got back into the car, and cranked up the heat.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
I didn’t agree with that, strictly speaking, because Steve’s countless chances only led to worse situations, but I had to concede that most people probably deserved one. After all, Theo had felt likemysecond chance, hadn’t he? An opportunity to seize my fate with both hands, to let myself out of the careful little box I’d placed myself in after Steve died and I was finally free. A chance to be cherished and appreciated.
And loved,my heart chimed in.
I didn’t go straight home after that, though. Instead, I drove back through Spruce Hill toward Lake Ontario. The snow prevented me from accessing the parking lot at the public beach, so I pulled onto the plowed overlook just up the hill. I hadn’t dressed warmly enough to stay long, but I parked the car and got out, wrapping my arms around my body against the cold as I stared out across the water.
The view was chilly and pristine, shades of gray and blue broken only by the rocky outcropping that housed the tall stone tower of the Spruce Hill Lighthouse in the distance.
Just as I closed my eyes and cleared my mind, hoping some universal force might guide me to the right decision, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I struggled to unlock the screen with my frozen fingers, but a faint glimmer of warmth sparked when I read the text from Theo.
Would you please consider having dinner with me tomorrow night? 6 pm, my place. No pressure, no expectations. You can even throw another snowball at my nuts first.
The smile that pulled at my lips felt rusty. I stared down at the message for another minute as a rush of longing pulsed through my veins. It had only been three days, but I missed him. I missed him like I’d missed joy during my marriage, like I missed the sun on a drizzly day.
With my phone clutched in my hand, I looked back out at the choppy gray waves dancing across the lake. I’d replayed the scene from the other day a hundred times, searching for evidence that I was right to step away from him, to nip this all in the bud before I was truly drowning.
In the end, I didn’t find it. I found Theo jumping to my defense at first, jumping to a stupid conclusion next, and myself, panicking.
And yet…what did that mean? That I wasn’t ready for something like this? That we’d been doomed from the start?
Or maybe just that we were both human.
I remembered telling Theo he made me feel like I didn’t come with so much baggage, and his response—we all have baggage.
That much had never been clearer than it was right then.
I looked back down at the phone. Though I’d been paying only the vaguest attention to the calendar, I knew I had an order to deliver tomorrow afternoon. After a quick calculation, I texted Theo back.
I’ll be there.
I hesitated even after typing out the words, but I made myself hit send and hurried back into the car. It was almost two o’clock, so I had plenty of time, but these days of wallowing had been a mistake. I did my best thinking while I was baking, after all.
What better way to show I was open to hearing those mysteriousthingsAlex said Theo had to tell me than to show up to dinner tomorrow with an offering of dessert?
Chapter Thirty-Five
Theo
IrereadEsther’stextadozen times throughout the rest of the afternoon. Not long after she sent it, her car pulled into the driveway. Lovesick fool that I was, I peeked out through the curtains and watched her hurry into the guest house without a glance in my direction.
Even as I told myself it didn’t mean anything, regret stabbed through me once more.
