Page 64 of The Sea Siren of Broadwater Bottom
“Edward!” She gave an incredulous laugh as she grabbed his hand and tugged him back down onto the blanket. “I believe you phrased it perfectly, and that you understand how ridiculous it sounds. If we are both truly ducks, we should be ducks together. We should try to domoreof the things that make us happy, not fewer.”
“But I—I don’t have a choice, Elissa. Were I a younger son, I would not be under so much scrutiny. But I am the heir. And as I said, it would reflect poorly upon my family if I were to flaunt society’s standards, and it would cause difficulties for my little sisters in particular.”
She closed her eyes. She had been steeling herself for this moment ever since they parted in the library. Deep down, she had always known she wasn’t what Edward Astley needed.
It didn’t make it hurt any less.
She opened her eyes, and he was regarding her sadly. “Does this—” He swallowed. “Does this mean you won’t marry me?”
“I’m so sorry, Edward.” Her voice broke. “But I cannot change who I am. Not even for you.”
The misery in his eyes was devastating to see. He started to look away, but she caught him under the chin. “Wait, Edward. Look at me. I cannot be your wife.”
She gathered all of her courage and said, “I will have to settle for being your lover instead.”
CHAPTER26
Edward was certain he had misheard. He became conscious that his mouth was hanging open. “Elissa, I—I think I misunderstood—”
“We can start tonight. Will you come to my room?”
Now he knew he was gaping at her. “You want me to—to—”
Her face flushed as red as her hair. “Unless you do not want to. I had assumed that you did, but if you do not—”
“Of course Iwant to.” Edward rubbed his temple. Of all the ridiculous notions. “But I want you to be mywife. I wasn’t trying to coerce you into some… illicit affair.”
She leaned forward, squeezing his hand. “I know that, Edward. I would never think that of you. But if this is all we can ever have, we will at least have this much.”
“I suppose I feel the same way. Although…” He cut himself off. She had already declined his proposal. As much as he wished she would change her mind, it was unseemly to badger her.
He cleared his throat. “Very well. I will come to your room. Tonight.”
By then the sun was starting to slant low in the sky, reminding them it was time to dress for dinner. They packed up the picnic and headed back to the house together.
As Edward headed up to his room, his thoughts were consumed with one thing.
Tonight.
Tonight would be the night. He was finally going to make love to a woman. And not just any woman.
ToElissa.
He had been longing for this moment for half of his life. But mixed in with the longing, he felt terror in equal measure, because he had only a vague idea about how to make the experience good for her.
He had always thought he would hold himself aloof on his wedding night. He would go through the motions in a perfunctory manner, never confessing to his bride that this was his first time doing them.
But he couldn’t imagine doing that with Elissa. She would never allow him to close himself off, for one, but more than that… he didn’t want to.
Yet, at the same time, the thought of confessing that he was a virgin? That he didn’t know what he was doing?
Impossible.
Edward sighed as entered his room. Why couldn’t he look forward to losing his virginity like everyone else?
* * *
Eight hours later,Elissa paced her beautiful bedroom, barefoot, waiting for Edward. She wore nothing but her shift, the nicest one she had, which was hopefully more alluring than her tattered old dressing gown.
