Page 82 of Romancing the Rifleman
She boxed him into the corner by the fireplace so there was no possibility of escape, then turned to him, her eyes solemn.“When we were marooned on Bere Island, we had a good talk.At least, I thought we did.I thought we had resolved your concerns that life as an officer’s wife was somehow beneath me.I thought you finally understood that this is what I want.”She brushed her thumb across the back of his hand.“Thatyouare who I want.”
“You did,” he reassured her.“It’s like I told your brother—you prefer adventure to comfort.I received your message, loud and clear.”
She looked at him steadily, and he could tell she wasn’t fooled.“I noticed that you were able to muster a defense of my desire for a life outside of the gilded cage where my brother would prefer to keep me.But I also noticed that you presented no argument whatsoever when my brother—my idiotic, wrongheaded brother, might I add—suggested thatyouwere not good enough for me.”
Well, shit.He usually loved the fact that Diana was so clever.Came in bloody handy when he was trying to untangle some political mess.
It was a damn sight less appealing when she was turning all that perspicacity on him.
“I…” He cleared his throat, then attempted to smile.“I mean, isn’t a fellow supposed to feel dumbfounded that his beautiful wife would even glance at a poor sod like him?”
Diana’s gaze did not waver.“No.”
He gave an awkward laugh.“There’s a compliment in there somewhere.”
She crossed her legs, scooting closer to him.“Except there isn’t.I would have no problem with you waxing rhapsodically about how wonderful I am.”She waved her hand airily.“In fact, I look forward to hearing you expound upon that subject later this evening.But there is a world of difference between praising your wife and castigating yourself.”She peered at him.“Do you see?”
Deciding another diversion was in order, he pulled her in for a hug.“There, there, Diana.You know I don’t mean anything I say.”He patted her back once… twice… three times.“Off you go.”
She pulled back, narrowing her eyes.“What iswrongwith you?Did you truly believe I could be placated with such an asinine statement?”
“A man can hope,” he muttered.
She tossed her head, a gesture that would have looked patently ridiculous on ninety-nine people out of a hundred.Naturally, Diana pulled it off with aplomb.“The issue is not that I do not wish to hear those remarks.It is that I do not wish for you to think them.”
He forced a chuckle.“That’s going a bit far, don’t you think?I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if I gave you a list of things you weren’t allowed to think.”
She dismissed this with a flick of her fingers.“I believe we have stumbled upon a rare exception to that general rule.”
Shit.Why did she have to be so bloody clever?
He sat there struggling to come up with a response.After a moment, Diana continued, “What I would like to know is why you persist in thinking that you are not good enough for me.This is the only way we can resolve this—to identify the cause and pluck it out at the root.”
Because I’m a degenerate and a freak.Not that he could say as much, even if it was true.“Um…”
When he did not elaborate, Diana took matters into her own hands.“Is it because of the pranks you pulled on my brother?”
He answered honestly.“No.”
She was studying him in a way he didn’t much care for.“Is it because you were not academically inclined during your school days, and perhaps you compare yourself to your brother?”
As far as excuses went, this was a good one.Of course, the fact that he was the village idiot while Edward had been the bloody Senior Wrangler, the top student in mathematics in all of Cambridge, had done a number on his confidence over the years.He could have said,yes, that’s it, and let Diana go chasing down the wrong rabbit hole.
But to his surprise, although he couldn’t muster the courage to tell her the truth, he also couldn’t seem to form the lie with his lips.Diana deserved better than that.So, he whispered, “No.”
Her eyes softened, as if she realized that even this much honesty was hard for him.“Then what is it?”she asked gently.
Harrington shifted in his seat.Perhaps he could tell her something that wasn’t an outright lie.Hint at the truth without telling her everything.“As I’m sure you’re aware, I wasn’t exactly a choirboy prior to our marriage.”
She stiffened.“Are you trying to tell me you contracted a disease?”
“No!”He jerked back, shocked.“God, no.I was always very careful.”
She blew out a breath.“That’s a relief.”She threaded her fingers through his.“Then what is it that you think is so bad?”
He made a jerky motion with one shoulder.“It wouldn’t be inaccurate to call me… you know.A degenerate.”
She looked unimpressed.“I’m sure the same thing could be said about my own brother.”
