Page 25 of Codi
“More than anything.” The words escape me before I’ve truly grasped them, but in that moment, they are true. They’ve alwaysbeentrue. What’s more, I accept them completely without question.
Denise and Lucas are all I have, and to me, they are mine. My family. I will protect them both, always, with everything I’ve got.
“Then I’m inclined to believe you really are meant to be here, for a reason.” Father Patrick smiles and rises, picking up the glass of water again.
“What reason is that?” I ask. He’s a very odd person. I don’t understand half of what he’s talking about.
Father Patrick takes a step forward and rests his hand on my shoulder. “When humanity chooses hatred and selfishness over love and compassion, we cultivate our own suffering. Always choose love, Codi. Whenever you are given the choice, choose love.”
* * *
When we return to the sanctuary, Lucas is still curled up on his mother’s lap, resting his head on her chest. Denise looks so weary. Father Patrick greets them again and offers Lucas the glass of water, which he gulps down loudly before handing it back.
Denise looks at me, and I smile at her. She speaks softly with the priest for a time, but I’m not really paying attention. I’m far too busy admiring the contours of her face, her lips, her golden blond hair. Father Patrick’s reasoning echoes in my memory drive as I replay our conversation and try to make sense of it.
Imperfect creatures making imperfect things.
I disagree. He means well, but he is wrong. He must be wrong. There’s nothing imperfect about Denise. From her head to the very tips of her toes; her smile, her laugh. She is perfection. I am quite certain I could spend an eternity gazing into her eyes and never grow tired of it.
I have experienced what I can only describe as lust for Denise in the past several days of serving under her roof. I have thought about pleasing her in multiple ways, ensuring she is stress-free and satisfied in all regards. It was a little alarming how quickly I was able to picture myself doing these things with her and to her, in between caring for Lucas.
I still want to do all of those things, quite eagerly, if she would only allow me. But right now, such thoughts seem... muted and unimportant. I would greatly enjoy pleasuring her, yes, but there is more to her than her beauty. I spend the remainder of our time in the cathedral stubbornly proving Father Patrick’s imperfect comment decidedly wrong in every way that I can.
I recall waking up confused, disoriented, and frightened in her home, and how she spoke to me and attempted to calm me. How she has always treated me as though I were human and not a machine. How she works hard without complaint and puts her son’s needs first before her own.
And yet, there’s so much to Denise I feel I haven’t discovered yet. I want to. More than anything, I want to. I try again, in vain, to enter her name into BioNex registration so I can connect with her online presence, get to know her better, but again, I am unable to. This frustrates me. Why? I want to be hers. Why can’t my programming understand that?
All I can do is download drivers and make sure all my customization options are up to date. It only takes a moment.
“I think it should be safe for you to head back to your car,” Father Patrick says. “I’ll walk with you.”
“Thank you, so much,” Denise says as she rises from the pew, rubbing Lucas’s back when he shifts in her arms. He whimpers, but doesn’t put up too loud of a fuss when she hushes him. “I don’t know what would’ve happened, if you hadn't come along.”
I do. I would have clenched my fist and swung. Broken jaws, hands, arms. It didn't matter to me. I would do whatever it takes to ensure Denise and Lucas are safe. But such actions are beyond me, now.
My failures plague my processors, my memory banks. Somehow, I was unable to protect myself. Then Denise found me. When the protestors approached us, I would’ve acted, had the priests not stopped such violence from breaking out. A failure again. I can’t help my family by acting without proper consideration, by being decommissioned, terminated for my actions.
Intelligence and bravery will only get me so far. Cleverness is needed. Deception.
When Oliver dropped off my clothes, he told me I could take precautions to avoid human aggression, my eyes being the dead giveaway. I change the color of my irises from white to dull green and pull up my hood.
Now, I look just as human as everyone else.
“That won’t be necessary,” I interject. “I will keep Denise and Lucas safe.”
The priest and I share a brief moment as he appears to consider my words. I’m unsure if he believes me. “Are you sure?”
Denise gazes up at me before turning and nodding to the priest. “We’ll be fine with Codi.”
Father Patrick relents with a small smile. “Yes, I’m sure you will.”
* * *
There is little time for levity as we make our way back across the park. Denise shifts Lucas in her arms, unable to find a comfortable position to tote him the long way back.
“I can hold him,” I offer, extending my arms to her.
“Thank you,” Denise murmurs, giving Lucas to me. I carry him in one arm, adjusting him so that his chin rests upon my shoulder. She takes my hand and squeezes it. I glance at her in some surprise. Worry and fear are apparent on her face.
