Page 74 of Ezra
Yet I’ve never been more attracted to Ezra than now at this very moment, watching him handle the girl with such gentleness.
Ezra straightens, little smile fading.
I give him an awkward wave. “Hi.”
Ezra glances at Washington, who grins broadly at him. Ezra narrows his eyes at his partner and walks toward me. “Miss Carson,” he greets me professionally. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to lead a presentation for a PR collaboration with the department,” I reply, trying to play myself off as casual, likeI wasn’t hoping for this the entire time. I’m probably failing miserably. “To raise money for the bombing victims and their families.”
“They give you a hard time?”
“A little bit, but when I presented data and how good it would make them look, they went for it.”
“Surprised Winters agreed,” Ezra says wryly, clasping his hands behind him. He’s still wearing the same familiar clothes I saw him in the other night—long trench coat, a tie, the works.
I chuckle softly. “He hated it.”
“Good,” he replies.
Behind us, Washington bids his children and his wife farewell, and she drives off. “I’m heading back inside,” he says. “You know, you’ve been working hard, Ezra. Take your time, all right? You could use a break.”
Ezra squints at him. “I don’t take breaks.”
“Well, I’m ordering you to take this one.” Washington gives Ezra a hearty smack on the shoulder and waves, striding back into the office with his food in hand.
Ezra’s bright white eyes rest on me. I’m suddenly second-guessing how smart it was to follow the detective out to say hello. The last thing I need is for Ezra to use his X-ray vision or vital scans to see my heart threatening to jump right out of my chest, thundering in my ears.
My thoughts are on his visit a few days ago. The way he kissed me in a way I’ve never been kissed. I’ll never have another kiss like that again. But then I remember his words, how it was for the best, how true it was and how much that hurt to hear. Now we’re here together again, and I can’t think of a single word to say.
“You look good,” I manage, trying not to wince. Okay, maybe say something other than that.Great job, Katrina. Way to sound awkward as hell.
Ezra lifts his brows. “Thank you.” I kick myself harder. “My apologies for not reaching out these past few days. I wasn’t sure if it was wise.”
If my pulse was running before, it’s galloping now. The part of me that knows I’m playing with fire, knows that I’m so far past the don’t-do-it line I can’t even see it anymore. Ezra made himself clear. How he views this as impossible—as I should. Do I want to see him so much because I know I can’t have him?
“It’s okay,” I reply. “It’s for the best like you said, right? Nothing can come from it. Especially since I want to go to France eventually and, well...you’re not going anywhere.”
“I know,” Ezra replies. We stand in awkward silence for a moment before he clears his throat. “Well, I should head back. Jayne’s currently analyzing lab results and may require some assistance.”
I’m torn by the truth of our situation and what I want, more than anything. I’ve entered some kind of romantic no-man’s land, still unsure if I’m coming or going. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so attached so quickly, but I did.
“How is Jayne?” I’m desperate to fill the silence. “She seems really cool. She’s got a neat accent,” I blurt. My face warms. “When we spoke to her, back at Schroeder’s place.”
He nods a little. For a moment, I suspect he’s relieved I found something else to talk about, something to anchor him here with me, even though we should both be staying as far away from each other as possible. “She’s from the Republic of Ireland. She relocated here to join the ACU, and she’s close to becoming an American citizen.”
“That’s really amazing that the precinct is sponsoring her citizenship.”
I can’t stand dancing around the subject of that kiss, of what his showing up at my front door meant. This tepidness between us seems to be due to our surroundings, but fuck that. Why thehell should I care about what people think now? When I want something, I’ve always gone for it. I’m the go-getter, the freight train, the woman not afraid to put herself out there. It’s how I got to where I am today, how I’ve always conducted myself.
Now? I’m on the precipice. Maybe it’s wrong to want more with Ezra. I know we’re on different paths, but I don’t care. It’s a little scary, but it also feels right.
“Fuck it,” I mutter to myself. My window of opportunity is closing. I can sense Ezra’s reluctance, the way he lingers, but his duty will call him away eventually. I clear my throat. “Do you want to meet up later?”
His quiet curiosity twists into surprise. “What?”
No going back. I lift my head a little higher. “You apologized for not reaching out, said that it’s not a good idea. But fuck wisdom, okay? Why can’t we just do what we want and tell everything else to go screw itself? I mean, Detective Washington is practically throwing you at me. It should be okay for us to get together and catch up whenever we like.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?”
