Page 30 of Nolan
“When we were in high school!”
“Apollo, I hated you when we were in high school!”
The kitchen goes silent. Apollo’s mouth is slightly hung open, looking like I just stabbed him in the stomach with a knife and twisted. That kicked-puppy expression only makes me more upset. Was he seriously living in his own bubble, thinking everything was hunky dory?
Jessica looks a bit helpless, unable to do or say anything to contribute, but her eyes are sympathetically on me as Apollo speaks up. “You hated me?”
“Yes,” I reply, exasperated. “It was bad enough that you were cold and distant at home, you never wanted to spend time with me. Video games? Too cool for that. Going for a bike ride? Too busy with your own shit. And then when your friends destroyed my art project, after I’d poured hundreds of hours into it, instead of tearing them new assholes, you went after me! All over your stupid game and being short players for a championship.”
Apollo doesn’t answer right away, his expression twisting from hurt to defensive. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What would that do? You didn’t listen back then.”
“What about Mom and Dad?”
“Please, Mom and Dad always defended you,” I reply. “Prince Charming could never do wrong. You could fail a class, and they’d still prop you up as the perfect kid.”
“That isn’t fair,” Apollo scoffs. “They’d rip me a new one for failing too. Maybe not in front of you, but they did, and I felt it. You don’t know the pressure I was under back then.”
“You’re right, I didn’t know, but I needed you to have my back, and you didn’t.”
“Is that why you’re talking to Nolan, then? To get back at me?”
“Apollo,” Jessica warns him again, frowning. I’m glad I have her, if nothing else.
I bristle, countering. “No! Nolan is nice. He’s sweet, and funny, and he’s a gentleman, and I like him. That’s all.”
“And I don’t get to have any say in this?”
“No, you don’t have a say. I’m telling you because I’m trying to show you respect and be honest,” I reply with an edge in my voice. “The least you could do is show me the same courtesy. I’m telling you Nolan’s a good man, and I like him, and we’ve started talking. I’d like you to be on board with it.”
Apollo falls silent. Jessica’s mother comes in, humming a little song quietly to herself, and pauses when she sees us all gathered in the kitchen. She blinks, as though sensing the tension, and speaks softly with a sweet and motherly smile. “Miya, ni ele ma? Wo qu zuo zaocan.”
“Xièxiè, Laolao, but I’m not hungry.” I get up from where I’m sitting, giving Jessica an apologetic look. I didn’t mean for everything to come out quite like this. “I’m sorry. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I’m gonna go get ready for work.”
I flee the kitchen, my mind and my emotions all over the place. I wanted this to go a lot smoother than that. But I’ve been holding a lot of this in for a long time. It felt weirdly therapeutic finally letting it all out. But all I have is guilt left over. Jessica has bigger problems now than Apollo’s and my drama.
Was coming to New Carnegie really the right choice for me?
Nolan
“Hey. Wake up.”
The voice and a soft kick to my boot bring me out of sleep mode. I power up with a smooth whir. My visual feed activates to find Apollo standing right in front of me, staring me down.
“Good morning, Apollo.”
He ignores my greeting. His mouth is a thin, unpleasant line. He furrows his brow. “Anything you want to ’fess up to?”
My system temperature rises to a nearly uncomfortable level. I’ve never experienced this level of tension inside me, at least not when I wasn’t immersed in a fire, fighting to save lives. Shit. I’m in unfamiliar territory. I gaze back at him neutrally, locking down my facial responses. “Could you be more specific?”
“Don’t fucking do this, Nolan,” Apollo demands. “Don’t do it. Not after all we’ve been through. Tell me what happened last night. Bennigan is getting his ass reamed by the mayor, and I can’t have your back if you don’t tell me everything.”
My processors are already calculating the odds of Apollo knowing I kissed Mia last night. According to the numbers, there’s no way he could tell. Apollo’s clever, but he’s not a mind reader. I have no idea what could be wrong.
“Is this because I went to Cyber Street to help out yesterday?” I ask.
Apollo clenches his jaw and shakes his head with exasperation. “You need to get down to the chief’s office,” he says as I move past him. “And after he’s through with you, you come find me. We’re not done here.”
