Page 37 of Nolan
“I don’t need a fancy house or a bunch of kids. I’ve got you guys for family. I’m okay with all of those things.”
“You’re certain?”
“Yes, I am. I promise. I’ve got Jessica to talk me through it, until I get used to it.” Nolan isn’t a walking wallet or a toy for me to play with. If he wants to care for me, I’m all for it, but I never even considered treating him like a lottery ticket, a way to get the safe, cushy lifestyle some people only dream about.
I’m touched, though, by the genuine concern in my brother’s eyes when he talks about Nolan. “I can get those things on my own. And I’m not going to hurt him. You have my word.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Apollo lets me go.
“Can I eat my food now?” I say, feigning an annoyed sigh as I scoop more spicy chicken and noodles in my mouth. “You’re so needy. God.”
He answers that by getting up, ruffling my hair, and pushing my head down lightly toward my plate with a snicker until I bat him away with a giggle before telling on him. “Laolao, Apollo messed up my hair!”
“Snitch!” Apollo retreats to the kitchen as Laolao laughs and scolds him in gentle Mandarin. When I’m full, I go over to sit with her and rest my head on her shoulder. I thank her for dinner as she straightens my shirt for me a little and returns to her reading, appearing quite content.
Now that Apollo knows about my involvement with Nolan, things have become infinitely better. There’s no weight on my shoulders, no dread thinking about anything at all. My thoughts, my feet—everything is lighter. And for the next week, I’m spending as much time with Nolan as I can.
We both agreed that the night at Cyber Street and the park was sort of a proto-date. An almost-date. I want the real thing, and so does he. But it’s hard to work around his schedule when he’s the only bionic in the fire department and is always on call.
But that’s going to be his life, always, for as long as he’s in service. He’s implied as much, but Apollo tells me outright on the following Saturday as I’m lying on the couch in a hoodie, texting with Nolan as we try to brainstorm our next move.
“It’ll be hard for him, harder than it is for me, to make time for loved ones,” Apollo says. It’s his weekend off. He doesn’t always get those, and he’s spending it following Jessica around, getting to work on some minor house repairs and taking care of the kids while she puts up her feet. “Find a way to be okay with it now and always, Mia. I mean it. It wouldn’t be fair to resent him later for it.”
I like how protective Apollo is over his friend, and even though my little-sister knee-jerk reaction is to argue, I know it’s coming from a place of love. “I will,” I promise him. The last thing I want to be is a problem. Quality time with people you care about is important—but so is work. And if Nolan isn’t allowed a balance the same way Apollo is, then I’ll have to make my peace with it. What other choice is there?
I try to picture myself as the nagging girlfriend, and it’s hard. I’ve never been that way. I always have plenty of my own things to do. I’ve never needed to be attached at the hip to someone constantly. Maybe I’m being overly optimistic right now; we just started talking, but the man has plenty of problems and challenges he has to deal with. I’m not keen on adding myself to that list.
I think he’s more worried about you than about me now.
I send Nolan a playful message as I stretch out on the couch. After a long week at work getting acclimated to my new role, it’s nice to be lazy for a little while. There’s news on the TV, mostly discussing the wildfire on the West Coast. It’s inching closer to my parents’ snowbird home. I guess it’s a good thing I came to New Carnegie instead. It’s hard for me to focus on it, safely on the other side of the country. My phone vibrates. I open Nolan’s reply eagerly.
I find that hard to believe. Tell me when I can see you again.
You’re the one with the busy schedule. You tell me. You’ve been teasing me all week.
I have a few hours. I could take off this afternoon.
My stomach somersaults with more butterflies than I’ve had in ages. Just the prospect of seeing him face-to-face again has me feeling like a teenager. But just when I’m about to answer him, my niece and nephew come catapulting through the living room toward the sofa like torpedoes.
“Wait, wait, wait!” It’s too late. The air is forcibly squeezed out of me from impact of their pouncing. They land on me like a trampoline. Hera’s six years old, and Laurent is four. “Easy, easy! You’re both too strong for me!”
“Auntie Mia.” Hera looks at me pointedly. “You promised you’d come with us to go skating.”
“You said—” Laurent is breathless somehow, and I have no idea why. The little guy just has so much to say. “You said—you said that you would come, so you have to come, okay? You don’t have skates but it’s okay, they have skates for you. And there are lights.”
“And disco balls,” Hera adds sagely. “You don’t know how to skate so you can wear special skates like Laurie does.”
First of all, I’m offended. I know how to skate. Kind of. Second of all, how can anyone say no to disco balls?
Jessica leans against the doorframe of the kitchen in her apron, smirking at me. “You can’t tell these kids anything. Because they’ll remember.”
“I can’t believe there are still skating rinks,” I muse.
“Oh yeah, I used to go there all the time as a kid,” Jess says. “It’s still around. We’re gonna head out in an hour.”
Damn. That won’t give me time to spend with Nolan. Unless . . .
“Could I invite Nolan along?” I ask tentatively.
