Page 33 of The Lady on Esplanade
I let out a sigh of relief that she was still capable of speaking.A mute Jolene wasn’t something I could even comprehend.“I’ve never been, but I imagine this is what it looks like in person.”I followed her gaze, knowing that she shared my appreciation for old buildings.The design of the theater when it opened in 1927 was meant to recall a Baroque Italian courtyard, complete with Greek and Roman statues set in alcoves and on top of faux walls.The meticulous restoration had replicated the original design right down to the color scheme, carpeting, lighting fixtures, and marquees.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy,” Jolene said.“Until I came to New Orleans for college, I’d never been out of Mississippi.Maybe I’ll get the chance to go someday.”
Carly leaned forward again.“Jaxson and I have decided to go to Italy on our honeymoon!We’ll send lots of pictures so you can pretend that you’re there.”
Jolene nodded, her smile a bit wobbly.I restrained myself from throwing an elbow into Carly’s side and instead sat back in my seat.As the massive red velvet curtain rose, I prepared to enjoy the performance.I’d talk to Jolene later, in private, and help her to understand that she hadn’t actually agreed to Carly’s request; that the word “yes” had never crossed Jolene’s lips; and that she hadn’t said or done anything that could possibly make Carly believe that Jolene had committed to participate in her wedding in any capacity.I needed to make it clear that she would be Carly’s maid of honor over my dead body.Or Carly’s.Because that’s what best friends were for.
Halfway through the first act, I became aware of someone attempting to exit our row and I instinctively moved my legs to the side.The person was already out of the row and heading back to the lobby before I realized it was Beau.The white of his shirtsleeves almost glowed in the darkened theater, reminding me that I still wore his jacket over my shoulders.
I mostly returned my attention to the performance, keeping half-aware of any movement from the aisle so I’d be ready to move whenBeau came back.Except he didn’t.I leaned forward to see if he’d returned from the other direction, but his seat remained vacant.Unable to relax now, and wondering if he’d forgotten he’d given me his jacket and was looking for it, I got up and made my way to the aisle and then up to the lobby.
The lobby was empty except for a couple of ushers, and a man and woman having a heated argument near one of the backlit marquees.I waited for a few minutes, thinking that Beau might be in the bathroom.I was about to approach a male usher to ask him to go check when, through the glass front doors, I caught sight of Beau standing on the sidewalk.
The chilly night air hit me as I stepped outside.The steady hum of Canal Street’s traffic masked my approach, and he jumped when I touched his arm.
“Sorry,” I said, drawing back.“I called your name, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”I slid the jacket from my shoulders.“Here.You must be freezing.”
“I’m fine.You keep it.”He settled it back on my shoulders, and I enjoyed the brief warmth of his hands before he withdrew them.
“Are you not enjoying the show?”I asked.
He seemed surprised by my question.“The show?”He shook his head as if remembering why we were there.“No.I mean, yes.The show is fantastic.It’s just”—he indicated the Saenger behind us—“the theater.It’s had a, um, long and tumultuous history.”
“Ah.Right.Like old houses.”
“Or really any old building where people have lived moments of their lives.Or died—as in hospitals.They all come with a host of unsettled spirits with unfinished business.And once they spot me—”
I held up my hand.“I get it.Melanie and my aunt Jayne have the same issue.You’re like a beacon in a dark night.I guess we should be glad you didn’t jump up and start singing ‘Dancing Queen.’ ”
Beau smiled at me as we both recalled Melanie’s proclivity to sing an ABBA song to make the ghosts leave her alone.He lifted his arm,and a red rubber band was visible beneath his shirt cuff.“I’ve got this.It’s a little more subtle and, I’d like to think, just as effective.Warding off the unwanted attention is exhausting, though, so I decided I needed some fresh air.Guess I’ve been gone longer than I thought.”
I met his eyes, knowing that what he’d just told me was only half the truth.“It’s about tomorrow, isn’t it?About seeing Madame Zoe.”
His eyes became guarded.“Why would you say that?”
“Because I’m right, aren’t I?”
He brought his face closer to mine.“But how would you know that?”
I didn’t pull back.“Because whether we want to admit it or not, there’s some sort of annoying psychic connection between us.I know I’m not alone in wishing that weren’t the case or that it would just go away, but there it is.”
A corner of his mouth tilted up.“Yep.There it is.”His expression became serious again, his thoughts turning inward.
I touched his arm briefly, and my fingers lifted as soon as I felt the familiar zing.“I’ve discovered that not knowing the truth is usually so much worse than finding it.Because when you’ve found it you can deal with it and move on.I didn’t know my mom was dead for two weeks.She just didn’t come home.That wasn’t all that unusual, but it was strange for her to be gone for that long.When the police knocked on my door and told me, it was a relief, really.Because then I knew and didn’t have to worry about where she was or if she was hurt and wanting to come home.She was gone and I had no other choice but to move on.So I did.”
“Does your dad know all this?”
I shook my head.“Not all of it.I left out the worst bits.Why make him suffer, too, you know?”
He nodded slowly.“I’m afraid of what I’ll find out about my parents.All these years, I’ve been telling myself a certain narrative.Finding out that the truth doesn’t match that narrative will mean that I’ve been lying to myself for so long.”
“We all lie to ourselves about something, Beau.It’s human nature.It makes the hard pills easier to swallow.But I think it’s these lies that hold us back, you know?Not just emotionally, but…” I shrugged.“But everything, I guess.Your career, your everyday choices.Your relationships.”
His eyes met mine again.“Yeah.All that.It’s just…” He inhaled.Exhaled.Like someone getting ready to jump into an icy-cold pool.“It’s just that I feel like I’m all alone in this.Yes, I have Mimi, but her focus is her son, regardless of how much she loved her daughter-in-law.It’s not the same as a sibling who shares both parents.But Sunny won’t return my phone calls even though she’s speaking to Mimi.She’s my sister, and I really think we should do this together.Not just for me, but for her, too.Surely she’s wondered about what happened to our parents since she found out who she really is.I know she doesn’t remember them, but…” He stopped.
“But they’re still her parents.And you’re her brother.”
“Yeah.”His voice held all the heartbreak of a boy who believed he’d been deserted by the two people who were supposed to love him best, and then by his sister.My own heart echoed with a familiar ache of desertion, and before I could remind myself that this was Beau, I moved closer, put my arms around him, and pulled him to me.I lay my head against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath my ear.
